6810. THE BACKGROUND OF THIS CITY'S BURDEN

THE BACKGROUND OF 

THIS CITY'S BURDEN

It has been said that suicide is authentic, a particular

and real and individual act : I answer OK, I guess it is.

I can't kill you, and you can't kill me, so we do it to

ourselves straight on. Authentic, yes, and right from

the source and to the source again.

-

Buy  -  as Styron said  -  an artist creates his own

authenticity, what matters is the conviction and

boldness. Invading alien territory. The here and

the now, they bring forth their own, constant

troubles. Some things just can't be evaded?

-

Bu why am I here, listening to Hendrix in the

night? 'Hear that train a'coming', once more. The

target that precipitates this act of suicide is one that

makes a blind necessity out of something that otherwise

'may' just be. Certainly no cowardice there.

-

So it is that I walk west along 22nd Street, in this shadowy

dark night alone  -  heading for something, looking for the

ferrule which which bolster this life; not its end, but the

life which continues. Somewhere I can go, home again,

where someone at least knows me. My God, I want to

hide, and then die, and then come back again  -  to see

then that everyone knows who I am.