LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM
ON THE NY TRAIN
Weird but true, though not what it
seems. Some young black dude, full
of push and venom, gets on the train,
headed north, from New Brunswick,
or somewhere stupid, to NY. I always
called it north, but I think they actually
say east, out of Princeton. Always
troubling.
-
This Mr. Slick here I'm speaking of,
was a fare-beater faking a need for the
bathroom. He locks himself in, well
before any conductor catches him for
a ticket or a fare. OK, so he thinks to
ride out the 30 minute trip (on a good
day), locked in the bathroom. Good
luck with no other schmuck needing
to use that room too.
-
Sure enough, some able-bodied nitwit
comes and starts banging on the door.
You just knew it had to happen, and,
even though no ladies ever use a train
car bathroom, he's lucky it wasn't a lady,
This guy sits down to wait, and 10
minutes elapse. Conductor finally shows,
to click and ticket the car, and this guy
tells the conductor the tale of woe, and
about the 15-minute guy 'hiding out' in
the bathroom. To beat the fare.
-
The conductor lets on that he knows.
'Yeah, happens all the time, and out of
Brunswick too. But you'll just have to
wait. It's a game they play. I'm not
starting a fight over nothing like this.
I'll try and get him on the way out,
and if there's cop at one of these
stations, I'll try to have him run in.
But they always win; it's his word
against yours and mine, and there's
no proof that this ever happened. Law's
on their side, ticket or no ticket.'
-
With that the conductor knocks on the
door a few times, and walks away to
do his work. This world. This world,
I'll tell you....
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