RUDIMENTS, pt. 1,299
(patron saint of nothing, pt. ONE)
I was down in the valley, of some old
dirt road, and it seemingly went nowhere.
'Cortese Road,' the sigh read. Some guy at
the end, with a sign tacked to a tree - It
read 'Hounds, Good Hunters, $800'. All
pretty non-specific, I thought. Been through
that before - got bird chasers, bird pointers,
bird retrievers. I'd heard all about the varied
types of hounds there was, from Coonhound
to Blue Tick. Old talk, and tired.
-
The guy comes out - an old, grizzled
sort, on a quad no less, riding with a dog
too. He says 'Hey, what'cha doin? This
is private property, you know.' I said yeah.
I was here to see some dogs. He said 'Well,
while you're here, let's have a beer.' I said
OK. He took me up to a nice-looking shack.
The type of place that, over years, grows -
added on with little wings and rooms.
-
I sat down, against a wooden wall. Solid
enough, the wall, but I couldn't be sure if
it was just an 'outdoor' wall or if there was
a room inside, behind it. The outdoor walls
were dark green, with the usual hunting
photos - even a deer, being gutted, while
it hung dead, from a tree. I guessed the
guy in the photo was him from a younger
day. I never did get inside, but I saw
it was just him alone, I figured - no
family or group photos, no kids, no wife.
A nice gun cabinet hugged the corner.
He starts to talking again - about other
houses along the road, what he called 'the
neighbors.' Said they was a 'good enough
bunch', but then he began picking apart
each family as he reviewed.
-
'It's a decent enough bunch; some of the
houses need work, maybe, yeah, but it stays
pretty damp down here, and cold some too.
Hot air rises, you know, and what we get of
it just all seems to float away. No sense in
fighting it though, other than just move away.
Some do that. Can't take it, I guess. The blue
house, up yonder, see, that's Vaeth's. Nice
bunch; he's a carpenter or wood-worker,
some sort. Two wild daughters that ought'a
know better by now - turning into women,
you know - but they don't know no better.
Always carryin' on here, in the woods.
Boys and school-friends and the rest. Not
good. Seen a few outrageous things go on,
right here, from looking out that window
when I sit. The dogs too. I could write
a book, just to have it banned!'
-
I said, 'They don't much do that anymore,
banning books, leastways not over sex.
Maybe over other things now; can't never
tell.' He laughed, and said, 'Camp Never
Tell!' - sounds like one of those wild
sleepover places they got in the woods.
The father, you know, over there in the
Vaeth place, he's been carryin' on too
with the Marilyn girl, the wife over on
the other side here, of that little hill.
Yep; think he'd know better, but we see
'em both, me and the dogs. Things they
do too, they'd curl your hair.' I stopped
him. 'I don't want to hear this stuff; I
don't care what people are doin'!' He
scoffed. 'I seen it! Can't ignore it. Thru
the windows or not, it's a show.' I wanted
to get out of there, and soon. 'Sloppin'
around on each other, with their tongues
and everything! You'd'a had to see it!'
-
Just then another dog came into the area,
and damn it all, beats tarnation, if it didn't
just set right down and start licking it's
own balls - it was as if the guy and the
dog had a perfect communication. 'That's
Henry,' the guy says. 'Right now I'm up
to H with the naming. He's the newest.
Want him?' Yep, I know you're counting
he's the #8 dog here. Got a bunch. I said
I'd have to think about taking Henry,
maybe another time. Then the guy says,
'Hounds, y'know. Hounds all. They bay,
that's the noise they make - a kind'a
half moan and half wail - at the
moon,or at raccoons, and bears too.
Hell, it's all good company, and I got
nothing else. You oughta come 'round
here more. I like the company. Gets
lonesome some, and I got nobody. Right
now I'm setting in with the firewood for
the season. Gotta' keep ahead on that.'
-
I said I'd come back, but I didn't want to be
hearing no more about the carrying-ons of
his neighbors, be they salacious, serene
or obscure. He opened another beer, and
somehow I stayed there for that too.
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