RUDIMENTS, pt.118
Making Cars
I've often had these little relationships
with words. 'Contingent' was one of them;
for instance, 'your acceptance into our
fraternity order is contingent on you
first passing a selective assortment of
local tests.' Contingent? Meaning you'll
accept me only if I can prove that my
personal assortment of strange talents
embraces and meets your code? Or,
'your acceptance into our organization
is contingent upon documentation that
you have first read all 72 volumes of
the 'Great Works of Modern Man,' and
visible evidence that you can speak on
the subject of any of them.' OK, sure,
can do.' Words are funny subjects, and
the subjects of funny words are too.
-
For about 10 years, a little more, my basic
day job (and night too) consisted of some
sort of weird commitment to the world of
motorcycling. I'd quit all my other jobs
over this one, and took possession of a
700 square feet office at 719 Main Street,
in Metuchen, from which perch, if you've
been reading along, I was picked in late
1997 for that Metuchen Mayoral run, which,
as I've previously related, became a quick
rush-through of crash and burn politics.
During this same period, I was able to
pretty come and go as I wanted, fulfilling
all of my legislative and publishing duties.
I also became a stringer for the Star-Ledger,
NJ's pre-eminent newspaper, out of Newark,
for which I covered town meetings, Bd. of
Ed meetings, zoning and variance meetings,
varied special events and confabs. In addition,
I acted as writer, photographer, editor and
publisher of a monthly newspaper for the
world of 'motorcycling, which entailed way
too much statewide organizational stuff,
meetings, runs, events, and parties too.
Fund-raising (this job was self-sustaining).
All off this, on its best days, was fun, while
on its worst days (most were) if merely
involved infighting, myopic competitive
drives between bikers and pinheads who
wished they were, people who thought their
motorcycling entitled them to automatic
attitude and membership in the big-balls
club. I worked hard for those years, but
both it, and the fit, weren't wise. I spent lots
of time at hearings and testimonies at the
State House in Trenton, on all sorts of
issues pertaining to motorcycling, Bikers,
laws, enforcement, violations, and the
rest. Some of those guys I ended up
speaking for were jailbirds, thugs, and
one or two killers as well - and, at the
other extreme, there were just as many
farm-boy dweebs, cigar-chomping
dentists and doctors who'd just bought
a brand-new Harley to impress and their
new, fourth, wife, her fake tits, hers and
his fancy leathers, brew-boy chums and
new cell-phones. It was always my personal
feeling that when the big-money men started
hitting the world of 'Motorcycling' and
the word 'Biker' was then considered
impolitic and out of bounds, and when
these guys started buying their little
girlfriends motorcycles to ride too,
and when 'we' started training them
to do so, it was over. (By 'we' I mean
the part of this organization called
'Rider Education' - which was a certificate
school purporting to 'teach' people to ride
motorcycles in what they called the proper
and safe way)."Bandannas on backwards,
feeling that when the big-money men started
hitting the world of 'Motorcycling' and
the word 'Biker' was then considered
impolitic and out of bounds, and when
these guys started buying their little
girlfriends motorcycles to ride too,
and when 'we' started training them
to do so, it was over. (By 'we' I mean
the part of this organization called
'Rider Education' - which was a certificate
school purporting to 'teach' people to ride
motorcycles in what they called the proper
and safe way)."Bandannas on backwards,
boys, we're going riding." V-room. The
best of it all were the stockbroker-riders
who only wanted fun for their riches,
'and bitches' - as they'd like to put it.
-
'Your acceptance into our code of being
a Biker is contingent on your staying
upright on two-rubber wheels, not being
a complete asshole, never going faster
that your headlights will illumine, and
maintaining some sort of ethical composure
after 9 beers. And get your hands off
that girl.' We used to tattoo that on
everyone's back.
-
As you can tell, I'm not bitter and it was
all too much fun. For one thing, for 560
bucks a week, straight, (unfortunately,
the week was about an 70 hour week, or
more), the largest arguments I had were
with my 'Bd. of Directors,' as it went,
who'd be insistent on making certain I
got medical insurance. That would cost
like another 125 dollars almost, every
two weeks, and since the only salary
I'd get came out of the same paltry
budget I needed for the job and the
organization to survive, the newspaper
to continue, advertising to be sold,
bills paid, and gasoline bought I kept
rejecting it and not paying it. Thus, in
all honesty, for 12 years I survived
quite well, with alcohol and fast-riding
too, without health insurance, which
always seemed like a scam to me anyway.
I'd heard a thousand lame stories about
health and medical things, the medical
industry and profession, and it was all
bunko. I was always a spiritualist,
believed in consciousness alone being
able to shape and form all things, and lift
the spirit to the heights needed, to maintain
health, safety, wisdom, and creativity too.
The only thing wasting money on the
health industry was good for was to
waste money on negative energy, and
negative people, which all then just
creates the negative scenario being
sought. So, as I was saying, in the
midst of all this, the biggest arguments
I ever had were my own crew, who
found it incredible that I could be so
dense and obtuse about such an issue. I
was quite often on the road - 14 chapters,
statewide, to whose monthly meetings
I was most often due, and it was most
often dreary, dense and dull too. ('I will
attend your meetings contingent on
them not being abusive, long-winded,
foul, and self-obsessed, by each of you').
I was quite-enough often with politicians,
as the token 'motorcyle guy' to show how
hip they were in acceding to represent my
community of road-hacks. I had lunches
and dinners with Christie Todd Whitman,
State Senator Kosco, more state assembly
people and bureaucrats than you'd think
existed, had to fend off the kisses of Jim
MvGreevey (really), and had various ex-
Governors and such come to our meetings
to speak, dawdle, and dabble. It was all
pretty cool, like a party at a morque, but
cool anyway. In addition, for over 6 years
I wrote a weekly column, called 'Oft Told
Tales' that went into about 6 local, town
weekly newspaper and covered 'historical'
topics of my choosing, reflected upon
in light of the present day and in my
own inimitable, and sometimes snarky,
fashion. On the column-weeks when I
was good, hitting on all cylinders, you
should have heard the local incumbents here
and there start howling. (Isn't that right,
Stu Eisenstein, wherever ye be now).
-
You see, I was always out for a good chase -
truth and fun together, while those guys were
always out for playing the voter angles, the
'right' things to say so as to say nothing.
My own training within, and then my
motorcycle training, had taught me how to
play rough, find the target, focus and then
shoot. No one much was too comfortable
with that. ('We'll read your crazy columns,
contingent on the idea that you stop
upsetting the apple card, quit your
truth-telling and get with the program').
Nah. By this time I was already 45 years
old, and just wanted to keep stretching
along, beating the bums, if I could, at
their own game. (I ain't changed much).
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