4310. NO ONE WRITES TO THE COLONEL

NO ONE WRITES

TO THE COLONEL

Garcia Marquez was right, no one does. Not

that anyone ever wanted to, mind you. You

know how those Colonels are - snap to

attention with fealty and a snappy wrist,

salute to the stars and say something

about war or the domestic situation.

People are being killed, they fall like

pins, in the street. And these dolts

just keep fighting amongst themselves.

-

The guy, anyway, got everything wrong :

calling Costa Rica an island, talking of

the land-locked country of Aruba. No one

ever corrected him; out of fear they just

blanched. It was 'severance pay forever'

if anyone opened their mouth. Such a

silence, yes, is deafening,and quite so.

-

As for myself, I never liked the cigars;

they made me sick. That and his meager

height when compared to all that bravado.

Head over heels was meant to just be an

expression, but for him it worked as well

as a description - just nothing there at all.

-

Number one contender for the middleweight

crown. Head of something or other. Collector

of misfit women and all the nation's cast-off

losers. No one writes to the Colonel. No one.