11,700. I CAN PRETEND

I CAN PRETEND

I can pretend I have nothing;

I can pretend I have you. Nether

one is truthful, neither one will do.

So I guess I'll sit here playing

solitaire with someone else's TV 

blaring in; counting cards, while

thinking of the stairway, and the

fire escape, and this whole damned

street of sin. There's no real logic

to my manifest, but I can pretend.

It's far easier to do : there's a man

with his wine bottle out front of this

place, I guess he'll be sleeping the

overnight again. A thin pile of old

blankets and some hand-held weird

contrivance he claims for his values.

Values? Claims? Him? I wouldn't 

even begin to know how to be 

living like that again. I'm too old 

now,  and soiled from death and 

destruction. I can pretend things 

are better, but  it's the only thing 

left I can do.