Monday, April 21, 2014

5273. ZERO AMBITION

ZERO AMBITION
'My parents kept a small cabin in the
mountains  -  a simple thing, just four walls
and very dark.' Estimations may vary on just
what Darkness is. Or where to find firewood,
even in the dark, blindly, after you realize you've
forgotten a flashlight. And there's a bottle of scotch
remnants, an old, cheap scotch inside the cabinet,
found. But it puts you to sleep well enough.
-
I've never been outdoorsey  -  all that camping and
kindling was not for me. As a child, I played clarinet
and read  -  over and over, in sixth grade  -  a book
called 'God Is My Co-Pilot' with another 
dweeby kid named Peter Tolendino.
-
There was another kid, MJ, as I'd known him.
MJ had zero ambition  :  he lived in a trailer park
and he hung around school only as if it were a prison
and he'd been hired in to terrify or frighten others.
Later  -  after he quit  -  he smoked weed, shot dope,
got a job in the big warehouse of an outlet chain. He'd
listen to big, nasty music and chased girls. All of them.
-
Unshowered. Ratty in a hooded sweatshirt. A real
warehouse rat. Nasty, brutish, and short. No, no, that's
someone else. Adam Smith, or Malthus maybe. 
-
I've nothing but a wrinkled Chinese shirt  -  it makes me
laugh too, because right now I'm also watching a Chinese
Princeton kid in a wrinkled white Oxford disdainfully
swatting at American flies and changing tables because
of them. Now I can't see him. He's gone behind me.

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