5244. I HAD IT ONCE ON

I HAD IT ONCE ON

Mountaintop precipice when I was twelve. The 

clouds were below me; I was higher than the sky.

I like to call it my midway moment   -  circus-clown,

juggler, bearded lady, tattooed man. Then another

guy, some little Italian, kept walking in circles

with his organ-grinder monkey.

-

I walked the streets yesterday. I was dragging a

load of laundry, a basket of wealth, and a bagful

of desires. Five girls went by, laughing. A few

business guys, too entrenched in their conversations

to notice. Now, I am broken and tired. Wasted anew.

-

In the particular reality I live, there is absolutely no

difference amongst these things, these two sides of

my coin. Where is that bus anyway. I want to  

be gone, and I had it once on.