4193. ONLY CIVILIZED PORTRAITURE

ONLY CIVILIZED

PORTRAITURE

Only civilized portraiture will end this torture -

something wherein every line and shadow is

perfect and right. Like an ideal, in the best of

times, to which men ascribe blind wishes and

all good intentions. There is an easel on the

hardwood floor, set up to hold this canvas. I

go to it, steady, to find my own center.

-

Only civilized portraiture will end this torture -

something too aggrieved to mourn for, something

too mournful to consider. I have all the happenstance

of both shadow and light, each thing I shall need for

this perfection. Like that crazy Russian girl I remember

screaming at me on Atlantic Avenue for money in her

head : too bold for me to give any care back to. I did

simply walk on, away from her onslaught of noise.

-

Only civilized portraiture will end this torture -

The means never justify the ends, all dead dogs

come home to roost, the beavers are out of their

kennels, and the chickens are all howling at their moon.