POST-OPS: 1. One weird thing was, two-three days after surgery, when the doctor, on his morning rounds, and with a second doc-trainee in tow, sat down in my hospital room to review progress and
discuss my case. It was all cool and made good sense, etc. - until he advanced to the point of asking
me if I'd 'returned to the point of having ordinary dreams again'.. I was perplexed, both medically
and otherwise. 'Ordinary dreams?', I asked, 'What do you mean? Aren't dreams themselves always
out-of-the-ordinary, thus fulfilling their potential as 'dreams'? With coiled ropes and hoses coming
alive as snakes, small rivers turning into sweep-you-away torrents that you cannot escape from and
with dogs and cats turning into malevolent creatures chasing us down, with hills and rocks that that
talk and cars that won't idle and begin sliding backwards.? Actually, for the last five weeks, my dreams have been dark and brooding, almost evil, to me, fillings me with portents and fears of death, etc. By
those tokens, yes, I guess I could say at least THAT has stopped and then I have gone back to 'normal'.
He smiled, genially, and said something to the effect that yes, that was what he meant. The heavy dose of anesthesia sometimes gets into the system and changes such things, and that if I'd now 'plateaued' things were getting better. (If he only knew. The so-called and open-ended 'dream state' is where I live. No license plates needed). The use of the word 'plateaued' also threw me off; it was such an insecure word for that usage - almost geological, in a place where there wasn't even any land. Dreams have no geography. I began wondering if it had been, on his part, perhaps just an odd foray into another line
of medical work - seeking to and trying to mesh together a form of cardiac medicine with the psycho-chemistry of the subconscious. It suddenly again seemed pretty apparent to me - after weeks of being told by others that a key to surviving this was mixing outlook, optimism, prayer and positivism all together. Sort of like a 'Star Wars VS. The Militiamen,' if such a thing were to exist. The two of them together then sort of reminded me of a tandem duo of a Sigmund Freud and a Carl Jung off their reservation and out slumming. Back when I studied those subjects, it always struck me that - among
the turfs and conflicts within the psychological community - Karen Horney was left out of the mix (you can look her up). Her, and Freud's, entire side of things was the 'sexual' slant, whereas to me the Carl Jung side was far richer, less critically contrived with case-histories that seemed suspect and incorrect, and - most importantly, richer and deeper with archetypes and underpinnings of the very ancient, in a manner of, say, the glibness of The Hallmark Channel going up against an 'educational TV channel portrayal of fact, not just glib and stupid drama. And anyway, Karen Horney's work, whatever it was, got all screwed up and simply ignored because of the overlap of here last name with the fact of the word 'horny', with which 'Horney' had nothing in common - but try and tell that to any local schlub.... I just awoke again from another two-hour late afternoon nap. So unlike me. I used to think of naps as non-productive, but these now are not. I think through them. Thy help alleviate pain. Then even seem to aid digestion - which these days has been so tampered with as to warrant observation. The pain too - sometimes now simply shredding me at the rear-shoulders and high back - a combined feeling of bursitis and sore-shoulders. But, unknown to the doctors are the 'weird' things that do come through. For me, there in the hospital room, and now at home, I've dizzying spells of what I call 'contact dreams - which I'll get into in a bit. First though, let me explain that they seemed to break time, each time; stopping it and holding me in place. (I no longer have a scanner/printer, which most simple as it was, has died), so a few of the drawings of what's been happening are not yet 'showable.' But my very simple renderings would have helped. One, for-instance, is the first one - which seems to be a sort of insertable-for-readout, digital info card. I drew what was flashed before my eyes, with some of the type
and info shown. I do not know what that writing or info was, BUT, in other scenes entire rafts of text were floated before me - quite retrievable if I scribble fast. In other scenes, within bowl-shaped collections, are piles of text. They too remain for retrieval - I do NOT know what this is or means, but, while in the hospital what happened to me was as follows: In one of these, I was somehow visited by an 'ancient'. An ancient of time, as it was phrased. I'll call it a He, because I don't know anything else. HE told me that Males of the species were merely built as breeders, so it hardly mattered. The heart of Humankind was the Feminine. He spun me one of those disc things and said to watch. It was disorientating, and my focus and vision was off for the duration. He told me that WE are primitives, a Human slave-race that had been created long, long ago, in deep space; every microbe, DNA pattern, means of hearing and vision, motoring skills, etc. I guess like the entire Adam and Eve gamut. We were taught by them, as they seeded us here - fire, agricultural, shelter, sex and procreation, etc. etc. It's all recorded on such discs. His folk are still among us; we read them as great Elders, and Giants among men (see Genesis 6). They are our (active) Gods and Genii's, keeping us alive, and maintaining our planet. Underground, and beneath the poles, where their civilization still flourishes, though kept hidden. (Probably for the good). He then said, in 50 years perhaps, in the same way that there are political talking heads shows, Oprah and Martha Stewart shows, and panel discussion shows on TV, Kate Hudson, etc. (I think he mentioned that one), these 'ancients' will have emerged and identified themselves and their 'shows' will all be of one of them each, sitting at the center of a table, explication to Humankind their histories, and how things have come to me, the treasures of space and time-travel. We are not there yet, and it is still far too early. I asked about the 'curved bowl' idea of 'space' I'd seen, filled with words, and he said that was, for now, for me. No one else has seen it. It's a resource for me to mine, however and in any way I wish....Now, how would I ever broach this to my heart doctor? Normal dreaming yet again?
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