Sunday, August 26, 2018

11,106. RUDIMENTS, pt. 420

RUDIMENTS, pt. 420
(avenel gives hell?)
I spent lots of time at the
crumbling of those piers
just mentioned  -  essentially
it was where I lived, on
foot or by bicycle, that
entire first Winter  -  between
things, but always returning.
It's difficult for me now to
try and recreate the ruination
and decrepitude of what
once was there  -  most
especially now as how
since it's all become
fashionable and quaint  -
parkways, joggers, bicyclists,
gymnasts with their weird
clubs, stuff I just don't
really understand, all
done by people I
understand less, and
care to understand even
less than that. Another
world entirely has eclipsed
any of that which I may
have been or inhabited,
and that's fine with me.
You can take your
sensitivity stuff, your
girl as boy and boy as girl
crossovers and emotional
bleeds, sob-story sentimentality,
feeling for the 'other' and all
that 'it takes a village' myopic
bullshit and shove it. It's
ruined a world already, and
working on another, as soon
as all today's nitwit kids
grow up and get where
they're (supposedly) going
-  eyefuls for brains, keyboards
for teeth, and distraction as
a nice, tight underwear beneath
it all. You don't have to be an
outlaw to be an outlaw, or,
better put, you don't have
to murder to be an outlaw,
you can  just be one by
standing way off and
watching and wondering
about all the other puke
you see. Some call it
the shits of an old man,
the foibles of passing on.
That's fine. They can have
it. What passes for the
education of what they're
now coming through with,
alas, is the fault of these
oldsters anyway  -  all that
'we pretend to teach, and
they pretend to learn' dicta
-  meaningless, but true
enough to be said, even
if in some form of jest  -
by the self-satisfied and
superior mouths of the
minions who pretend to
teach. In 1967, when I hit,
the streets of NYC and
these old dockworking
piers  -  all of that stuff
now of old calendars and
sweet words about 'vanished'
New York, all of that was
run-away destroying itself
and mostly hated by the
locals anyway; those doing
it, the workers, the cops, the
crime stoppers, the stevedores
and longshoremen, the killers
and thieves, the whores and
the bull-whip, sex-licking
transvestites and multi-sexual
Martians. (Yeah, rude as hell,
but that was what NYC was
before Disney and Epcot
snuffed it). They were all
there, and just laying about,
doing their stuff. To call it
back now, in retrospect, a
'golden age' of prime New
York City is bizarre and
unwarranted. But, it's done.
The waters were foul, they
reeked and stank. The sky
was always a dismal scoff
of brown, gray or yellow;
breathing was sometimes
difficult, traffic was beastly,
crowded, smoke and filth, 
noisome. So, that was it 
-  think of a black and white
movie of old, dark, smoky
scenes, furtive glances and
half-baked views and schemes.
That well gets it to you.

I'm just getting going here,
again, but it's necessary to
point out the odd paradox
that I'd constructed, or ran
myself into anyway. Me :
a purloined letter myself, a
note to some scratchy someone.
Avenel personified, perhaps,
with its rivers of guilt and
hard-honed attitudes. And
that useless mix now bleeding
into New York City, but
making it all up on the fly
too, as I went along. 'Give 'em
Hell from Avenel' indeed. (By
the way, whoever said tee-shirts
don't lie was a liar. That insipid
give 'em hell thing always was
such a crock. I never saw more
a bunch of cautious children in
my life  -  afraid to offend, licking
Mayor butt while the town gets
destroyed. 'Better wear it inside
out, Destry; the game's over').
I had somehow overlapped
times  -  I had somehow let the
switched allegiances of things
reverse course with each other.
I was living a double-negative.
It happens; it's easy to do, and
to get all caught up in doing. 
One suddenly finds oneself 
in the midst of a crowd of 
people and operations that 
one has absolutely no 
confidence in nor 
commonality with, and all 
the while having a realization 
that these people are what 
they say in name only. 
They have no realization 
themselves that they 
do not represent what 
they think they do  -  and 
all their gibberish and 
mind-numbing undertakings 
are just sideshows and distractions. 
To keep them 'cool'. That's how 
it was, after not too long at 
all, with Mark Eneret and 
his amazing Isro-gypsy friend. 
They were nuts, off the wall, 
Hedonists, in fact, and 
'New York' in name only, 
by geography alone. Nothing 
else of them represented 
anything but the seepings 
and bleed-throughs of a 
miserable and foul modern 
day. I got out, and quickly.
-
One other thing to mention 
here  -  one of those days 
with Mark Eneret and Ruda 
or whatever her name was, 
one of the times we cruised 
the beaches, again at Sandy 
Hook  -  this time not the 
military field, not the officer's 
houses, not the abandoned 
fortifications or the screw-palace 
ammunition bunkers, not the 
implanted, under-the-soil 
NIKE missile emplacements 
for defending the American sky, 
but instead a rat-commercial 
place much nearer to the 
entrance of the 'Hook'. It 
was a multi-level bar, booze 
outdoor deck and restaurant 
place  -  large, sprawling, 
usually crowded and busy  -  
called the 'Seagull's Nest.' 
The owner's name was 
Ed Siegel, a man I knew 
well enough. He'd made a 
bunch of money off of us 
(me) from my having run a 
few motorcycle rallies which 
conveniently ended up at 
his place for the bike shows, 
the raffles and prizes, etc  -  
thus keeping a crowded 
bar-deck of at least two 
hundred bikers busy with the
ringing of his cash-registers, 
tips and flirting with his 
beach-babe waitresses and 
all that crap. He would always 
call me up, begging for another 
bike run, knowing full well 
that he'd prosper from the 
debauched drunkenness of 
whatever level of constituent 
I brought his way, two-wheels 
or not. Ed was old then, 
about 73 or 75, and that 
was back in '96 or whenever. 
As  the only concessionaire 
on all of Sandy Hook he'd 
made a fortune, gained 
some fame and notoriety, 
and was  a wealthy man. 
Short, small, cranky, gruff 
and even rough-looking, 
you'd never know his 
attainments. He looked 
like a pugilist. I always 
wondered how he could 
stand it all  -  hiring any 
number of Summer help
kids and teens about 
whom he'd then have to 
constantly watch and 
worry over for pilferage, 
theft, giving away food 
and drink to friends and 
family, underage drinkers 
being served, laziness, 
sloppy habits, and all the 
usual problems of the 
possibilities of bad food, 
mishandled food, fights, 
brawls, arguments, tips, 
cash, stolen tips, stolen 
cash, money on the bar, 
wives and others' wives 
and husbands, drugs, 
violence, drunk drivers, the
accountability, record-keeping, 
ordering, having enough 
stuff always on hand, 
dealing with deliveries 
and supplies, opening 
and closing, days of 
operation, hours, and, 
lastly, the weather. Yes,
Ed and I would talk. He
lived by the weather too. 
It could make him or 
break him. Much like a
motorcyclist. A lot of 
accumulated stuff to 
eat up any man's dollar. 
-
People who start and run 
businesses, it seems to me, 
must sacrifice an awful lot 
for the gains they claim. 
I don't think they really 
ever honestly do the 
accounting. In Siegel's 
case, it was apparent he 
was immersed  -  and that 
immersion indubitably led 
to being immersed in money 
and its continued accumulation. 
One look at the guy and 
you'd understand : he had 
that 'look', the look of the 
leer of money, the man 
who, ever-faithful to his 
viewpoint, thinks nothing 
of accumulating, and then 
accumulating more, one 
banana at a time, one 
hot dog at a time, one 
old book at a time, 
one after one. After a 
while he'd bought buildings 
and had tenants, and was 
- in fact - an absentee 
landlord in parts of Jersey 
City where apartment buildings 
still came cheap; bad and 
unruly tenants, but cheap 
housing and money to be 
made, one dollar at a time. 
I once had a boss who kept 
on his wall a picture of a 
cow. Beneath it was the 
slogan 'Remember the 
Cow Story'. It somehow 
bolstered his idea of what 
he was doing  -  the story 
was, in some manner, that 
one cow plop after another 
cow plop, seemingly 
meaningless, small and 
incremental, if you stay 
at it at keep doing it, 
soon enough you'll have 
a real 'shitload' of cowplops 
as fertilizer (money). Fortunes 
made, a dollar at a time  -  
yes, you had to be there; 
evidently it's a businessman's 
inside joke at Kiwanis Clubs 
and things of that nature. 
It takes patience and 
forbearance (and mostly 
a belief in just that work, 
to think any of that matters 
one hoot. Not important;
 the story here is thus : a 
complete afternoon and 
early evening of drink 
and talk and more drink, 
with Ed Siegel mostly at 
the bar most of the time, 
talking to Mark Eneret 
(yes, him once more) about 
absolutely everything  -  life, 
philosophy, wins, losses, the 
whole gamut  -  I look over 
there and I see Ed Siegel 
broken down, shattered, in 
tears  -  sobbing like a baby. 
The man had somehow, over 
the course of the afternoon 
with Mark, completely 
destroyed himself, telling 
secrets and experiences he'd 
never wanted  to re-live. 
Mark Eneret had somehow 
gotten this out of him. 
Ed finally did go home; 
asked to be excused, 
apologized for what he'd 
done, and slobbered away 
in the company of one of 
his adult assistants. The 
way the tale went was this : 
Ed had been a concentration 
camp survivor, had the 
numbers on his arm to 
show, came to this country 
as a refugee with nothing, 
worked, and worked some 
more, eventually bringing 
himself up to the point of 
ownership, through some 
government deal, of this 
site-protected, sole-franchise 
for food and refreshment 
on Sandy Hook, in Gateway 
National Park. He'd made a 
fortune, from nothing, even 
after the rents and paybacks 
and percentages the host 
'government' took from him 
to keep the franchise  -  no 
matter, he'd built a cool, 
clean beautiful piece of 
real estate right there, the 
Seagull's Nest. In order to 
help his family along, do 
something with his money, 
he'd begun buying buildings 
in depressed areas. In 
order to advance his son 
along the way  -  once 
reaching adulthood and 
family and all that  -  he'd 
made him the Superintendent
and Landlord of a few of these 
holdings. All was going well, 
in this rags-to-riches story 
until the day his son, out 
collecting some back rents, 
was killed, shot in the head 
by a recalcitrant tenant not 
wishing to pay. Ed Siegel, 
in re-telling this story, in 
spilling his guts about 
this horrid, pent-up emotion, 
and everything connected 
with it, had let forth a gusher 
of fury, regret, sadness and 
emotion that was unstoppable. 
He felt HE had killed his own 
son. It was an amazing scene. 
I went over to Mark and 
simply said 'What the hell 
have you done? What's going 
on?' Mark, drunk and high as 
an ever-skunk, claimed a certain 
bemused detachment, claimed 
not to have known what happened, 
but told the story completely well, 
with no regrets. That part of the 
experience, by the way, never 
entered any re-tellings, and 
that was the really last I 
saw of him and Ruda. I 
did see Ed Siegel once or 
twice after that, over time  -  
he mumbled something the 
very next time about 
regretting what had 
occurred, I played dumb 
enough, and that was it. 
-
This has stayed with me 
a long time  -  I think of 
it often. The Seagull's Nest, 
by the way, was destroyed 
in Hurricane Sandy, about 
2012 or whenever, and 
Ed has not been able to 
re-open or rebuild it, 
though, at 90 or whatever 
he is still willing. His last 
phone message to me was 
that  -  all of sudden now  
-  'people' have arisen 
who oppose his again 
re-opening the sole 
concession, without a 
bidding contest, a complete 
airing of the issues and 
the submission of new 
and completing plans. 
Sounded like a plot, to me.
He's missed, for sure now, 
at least six Summer seasons 
I know of and the place just
sits there, rotting away. As 
of this writing I do not 
know his plans, intentions, 
those of others, nor his 
current health and status. 
Sad, weird story. How strange
it is that the past still haunts.
It's all still vacant and boarded 
up, until some stalwart reporter
was able to draw it out.

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