RUDIMENTS, pt. 400
avenel girls
One time, on our block,
I had a girlfriend - well,
I didn't really, in that she
didn't know a thing about
it, and every other boy-kid
on the block felt the same
way about her. I look back
now and laugh my ass off,
because she's a solid, bona
fide, dues paying lesbian.
She moved in from Elizabeth,
took the block by storm, and
I'm pretty sure every boy there
couldn't sleep for nights.
Funniest stuff in the world,
for really we were maybe ten
years old, and it would, at that,
probably take eleven of us to
add up to a hundred. What did
we know about girls? But for
the first five or six months,she
drove us wild and had every
kid in the palm of her hand.
(So to speak, jerk). I was
showing off one day, passing
her house in the icy Winter,
on the way to school (she
was only a few houses away,
and it was on the way too).
I slipped and fell on the ice
and really clonked my head.
All I can remember is her
Mother, saying, 'Your boyfriend
fell down on the ice for you.
Satisfied?' I was humiliated,
and hardly wanted to get up.
Mention was never made -
except, sixty years later now,
we laugh about it whenever I
see her - and, really she
admits that I was her man!
-
Being ten, being eleven, boy
it all blows. I hated it - not
sure, awkward, always
elsewhere in my head. I can
remember turning eleven. My
parents got me a stamp-collecting
kit, a cool green book, all those
stamp hinges and stuff you put
them in the albums with, and
like 2000 worldwide stamps
from Littleton Stamp Company,
in New Hampshire. It came
with tweezers, a magnifying
glass, and a little booklet about,
what else, stamps. Countries I'd
never heard of. Famous stamp
collectors - like Winston Churchill
and Frankln Roosevelt. (Like I
believed any of that). In the
backs of comic books, back
then, too, you could get, for
like 25 cents, a hundred or
more pot-luck stamps. I always
got that, plenty of duplicates,
but they always had you
(foolishly) on the lookout
for the inverted Jenny
upside down stamp mistake
that was worth millions and
quite famous. It somehow
never dawned on me what
a scam it was - that they'd
not see it and just pack it
away, over to me. Taking
advantage of kids, man,
that sucks.
-
I still have every one of
those too, and fifteen or
twenty years worth more,
stamps and albums. I had
an aunt in Fort Lee that
would save me all her Italian
correspondence letters (stamps
on the envelopes anyway),
and another uncle, from
Germany, from whom I'd
often get German stuff. And
somewhere along the line
I got this group of Third Reich,
swastika Nazi stamps, and some
Weimar Republic stamps from
right before that, when the
inflation rate was like 1000%
a day and money was almost
useless and bread there rose
in cost like a dollar a day -
so they have what are called
'overprint' stamps, where
they'd take them back and
just overprint the new,
'inflated' prince on them.
Six cents, then a thirty-five
cents, and then a seventy.
German and Nazi stuff
on them too. They were
supposed to be worth some
bucks, but the stamp guys
along Nassau Street in NY,
down in the financial district,
they never got their visit from
me, and when I finally did go
there, a few years ago, the
guy just shook his head and
said, 'Forget it, Bud. It's all
over. Nobody wants this
stuff anymore, no body
cares.' And he just handed
it all back to me. He trades
in coins and collectibles now,
and he said that's where the
money was for him, not
stamps. Oh well. (I did
look things up a little, after
that, and he was right. The
stamp word is dead meat).
-
It's a sad world when the
cool stuff like that just all
passes away. Like push-mowers,
and kick-start motorcycles,
like scissor-sharpening guys,
like wind-up watches.
Anyway, girls in Avenel,
yeah, there were plenty, and
some of them had a 'story'
already, by age eleven. I'd
gotten a free pass, once
or twice, for looking and
touching (hey, kids are like
that), but when I myself got
rolling deep into real eleven
years old, I was gone to
the seminary, and all that
wondrous and glorious
side of things (girls) was
put away and never spoken.
A bunch of stupid boys,
and a bunch of stupider
adult men. No ice to fall
on. No one to fall for.
And no stamps to lick.
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