6938. I CANNOT HOPE TO TURN AGAIN

I CANNOT HOPE 
TO TURN AGAIN

'...Because I cannot hope to turn again consequently

I rejoice, having to construct something upon which to

rejoice.' Well, Hiram, there's your berry juice and that

was T. S. Eliot squeezing the grapes. These men all share

despair - something like that of Tiresias and the hollow men.

All crazy coots anyway. And more than that I can add :

the churchyard gate was broken open, the collection box

was mine alone  -  the poor can go take care of themselves.

What makes this all interesting is that I start out with the

knowledge that all these others have to first start from

scratch to acquire. So, I'm ahead when I'm behind.

The quest for Salvation, you know it really requires

much more than just transcending the mere denial

of carnal love. I only want to endure, and after

the separation is ended. Key-marks and signal words.

Do not doubt for a minute they're not consciously placed.

What I hate the most is the over-and-over aspect of this

baleful life; repeat behavior, like running a stop sign

over and over until finally something hits you hard;

or jumping in front of a train only when you are

sure of the timing and sure it's arriving. Why 

miss yet another great opportunity. "I hear

that whistle blowing, it's coming down the 

line...' Conclusion: 'the amount of research

required by the context of this poem is not

justified by the amount of reward the

poem has to offer.' Huh?