6959. NOW THAT IT IS

NOW THAT IT IS

The gaping hole in the chest, well, that was a

heart. The transplant wouldn't take, so they

just ripped it out  -  I do feel better now, 

somewhat relieved in fact. I'll find something

to fill the spot, sooner or later, I'm sure.

We spend a lot of our time at the riverside,

now that it is easy, and now that I can move.

The fish jump the water with ripples and

bubbles. Both things I envy them having.

Two days a week a man comes by with a

cart  -  coffee, pastries, finger foods to nose

at, and all the rest. problem is, he intends

to talk, and do nothing else. His prices may

be cheap, but his habit is expensive. Talk.

Talk. Talk  -  once of those guys who thinks

all space has to be filled with words, an

incessant chatter, on and over, about 

inconsequential things. I finally always

end up just sending him away, but he 

always does come back.

-

I can function pretty well  -  like an uncaring

hillbilly now, without a heart. I get by, and I

look at various things with a different eye :

the squirrel who prepares for Winter, the

bird of prey, high overhead, just swooping

around to see what's fallen, and where. Every

few days, another roadside carcass, or a deer

laid dead deep in the woods. Things I, as a person,

would never usually see. I'm lighter by a few

pounds too  -  and all that raging sentiment has

also disappeared. Whatever happens, I don't care.

Now that it is gone, that is the way it is.