11,205. RUDIMENTS, pt. 458

RUDIMENTS, pt. 458

(ivory tower people make me laugh)

I can't say I ever knew what

insight was, though I felt I

had a few. Moving along,

through the ranks of growing,

a rainy-day sort of dimness

was always present, and it 

was just something I did

have to shake. I don't know

by what means kids do any 

of that today  -  or even if

they do  -  but I know 

how it went for me : one

scratchy new layout, each

time. One new drawing over

the last one erased. 

-

I guess Avenel was no place

for hesitation  -  or maybe it

was. Maybe that's ALL it was.

It was the sort of location that

you didn't really have to DO

anything in. I knew people

who finished school at 18 or

whatever it was, and were 

still at home 20 years later,

putzing around, gunslinging

in some imaginary world. It

was all about something

different for each : for me it

meant leaving town like the

borders were burning. But,

it all ended in a tie, I guess.

-

It took me, in all fairness to

myself, until about age 40 to

say I was really ready; had

my ideas in order. Before

that it had all been absorption, 

just taking this things, caressing

a gem here and there, and 

throwing off a lot of crud too.

I never saw 'Existence' as

about 'being' something. 

I just saw it as 'being.' Like

those people who used to go

around saying 'God' is a verb, not

a noun (Buckminster Fuller).

 Period. It was very different. Now

people get condemned not for the

value of their work or intention,

but for their label. Period again. 

There's no discussion, there's

no debate  -  which would mean

acceptance of the other person's

conclusion and determinations.

Instead, it's a shut-off, somehow

done by mob in the name of freedom. 

'He's a .........' whatever it may be.

Or whatever he or she may be

accused of, mob accused, of.

There's no reasonable defense

left to anything; the swabbing

sponge, instead of picking things

up, is just saturated and leaking

the same old things right back 

onto the table, and endlessly.

Others scramble to busily make

new definitions and categories

so as to continually snare any

others left. It's all fairly gross,

yet the ones doing it think 

there's nothing gross at all

in what 'they' do.

-

I didn't learn any of this crap

intentionally, myself. It was all

forced upon me by the outer

world. Sometime between 

quarter-to-twelve and forty,

figuratively speaking, the 

entire deal got switched up.

I ended up in another world

entire from the way they

all had said it would be. Now,

realizing no one ever knew

anyway what the heck it was

all about, nor what they were

talking about, I know it's simply

that people  - teachers and

many others  -  get money just

to talk shit. That's the way the

world is set up. They run it.

We get the detritus they leave

as false opinion and are then

supposed to make our doctrine

from that. Well rock-a-bye baby

on the tree-top, but I was never

buying. That's exploitation too.

That's abuse as much as any.

-

There are these guys over in

Linden/Roselle, in the really

crummy old black section 

where they've let the whites

take over  -   by their own 

lethargy letting the white 

developers have everything

and to stuff them into the usual

projects and hovels by which

an entire race of people has

been destroyed  -  who stalk

the parking lots of these

supermarket plazas and stuff,

taking the shopping carts from

people, out at their cars. No 

one, or if so very seldom, 

ever objects, because it's an

intimidating scene (I've

watched it a few times, and

did so again today while 

waiting). See, each of those

carts has a quarter, which

the person with the cart put

in the slot when they got the

cart  -  and which they'd get

back, as the quarter would

pop back out when the cart

is returned to the cart-hold.

But they never get to do that.

These guys, instead, get the

carts. I watch them. They

retrieve, as I figured, say

30 carts an hour. At 25 

cents per cart, that's like

7 bucks an hour. It works,

if you're already on the 

dole, have nothing else 

to do, and can power-up

to withstand the odd 

awkwardness of the 

encounter. It interests 

me anyway. And I 

wonder why isn't that 

called something? Why

is not the exploitative

behavior of those who 

build these places and

force people into these types

of situations ever called out?

Why are not fingers pointed

at them, and why are they

not dragged away and called

pouty names. I'm sick of them.

and if all these cards are now

supposedly on the table, (while we

let the house of cards itself crumble),

let me say this as well : I'm sick of

make-up and the 'industry' of

'beauty.' I'm sick of the sex and

and the exploitation and the 

ignorance being peddled at every 

turn, and then applauded. I'm

sick of business men with minds 

like daggers fragging other people

so they can make a buck, let alone 

a quarter; and enslaving entire 

races by what they build. I'm

sick of the accusers who accuse but

let these people have a pass; and of

the screamers too. I'm sick of the

bastards in the entertainment

industry and the corporate 

boardrooms, man and women,

and the beauty and fashion and

grooming industry. Those who 

do this. Those who can gauge

a human soul by how much

money they can make off of

their flailing, enslaved minions.

I'm sick of all the politics of

little minds and the slimy creeps

who take part. No one goes after 

them? I wonder why not? What is 

it that's so essential to this 

country that geeks in suits and

skirts can sit behind tables and

peer out at others and accuse?

Why aren't they in concentration

camps of their own devising?

Why do we let them roam

freely? Why is no action taken?

-

These questions are never asked;

because there's no garnering

mob support for those sorts of

ideas. No one to point a finger

and say 'you did this, he did that,

he does this, she is that.' They

clam up when things are not

'their' way. It's all so perverse.

-

I don't know what's next in this

wonderland rollercoaster to Hell

that's now called America. But I

do know that IF I have an opinion

about something it's unlike most

others and I have not much an

interest in putting it out  -  unless

you have a whim to begin giving

me all those quarters that I'll never

be giving back to you, being more 

that happy, I guess, to take your 

filthy lucre. I live, right now, in 

a land where even a sparrow is

ashamed to drop a load upon it.

-

How has it come that we've allowed

our lands to be taken from us, by

governments which allow and

foster destruction? Have we no

brains. How is it that every fourth

person you meet, maybe even every

third, works in some capacity FOR that

government and lives off tax dollars

while supplanting that destruction, 

pollution, death, and exploitation? To

the extent that, after the lands and

rivers are taken from us, THEY can

then post signs forbidding us to eat

from them BECAUSE they've fouled 

and poisoned those waters for us?

What is that all about, and why am I

I paying midget men and women

to do this? Why aren't they all

rounded up and taken away, muzzled

and hog-tied, and thrown into those

fetid waters they've made for us, until 

they are stomped, smothered and

extinguished? Where is that outrage?

Tell my why there are no televised,

roundtable, bullshit, screaming

discussions of any of that? 

Go ahead, I dare you.
-
So, among the things I wish to
   know  -  while the caterwaulers and 
the hijacked 'voters' and feminettes
wail for the cameras, is when did Water
become something untouchable and
toxic to us  -  thanks to these 'powers 
that be'? Why aren't the police the
rounding up their employers? Why
are not the candy-ass cops, instead
of getting paid to stand around all 
day and 'guard' the very road and
development processes which are 
killing us all, why are they not arresting
Municipal officials for breach of
public trust? Why can signs be put
up everywhere, about leash laws and 
dog waste and thousand dollar fines,
while the real killers and polluters
and thieves and cheats run free 
through town hall, while morons
would rather watch hearings on
TV? Who's running this disgusting
mess of things anyway, and why
isn't it US? You'd think people had
nothing better to do then be picked off.
And, you know what  -  they don't.