7159. HARVEY KINKER

HARVEY KINKER

Me and Harvey Kinker, fat old Harvey Kinker,

we was drinking Weiss Beer at Farcher's Grove, old

Farcher's Grove what ain't there no more. We had our

motorcycles parked outside  -  I had my black 1980 FLH

and it was set to roar. This was 1994. I knew Landlord

pretty well, so I wasn't really sweating it; just in case anyone

else showed up I was packing, yeah. My friends at the German

Club here, I knew they'd cover me anyway  -  it was that kind

of world. Pagans and Angels, let me just say  -  back then anyway  -

they didn't mix too well. But I felt covered. Actually, I forget the

guy's name, Hans or Gunter, one of those, he ran the place and was

always ready to show off to me : Nazi memorabilia, believe that shit?

Big jeweled rings, Bundswahr, SS, Nazi Youth. How to figure? I was

lost. But it didn't matter, my answer was to get drunk. My fat friend,

Harvey, he got worse drunk than me and loud and starting obnoxious

too. That was Harvey; we always survived. With him, I'd already been

through things -  gunfire, FBI shit from nearby rooftops, stupid-ass

surreptitious cameras and undercover Biker geeks. One big blowjob

when you only wanted a fuck  -  know what I mean? I was careful;

shit I was always careful about was always out front. In comes Gunter's

wife  -  Lottee, unbelievably  -  maybe one e, I don't know. She sat by

us and told the bar guy to back us up. Uh oh, this can't be good. We

each shrugged. I said  -  'it's just a way to keep us here, yeah, and

it'll work, but why?' He said nothing. Smiled. Drank some more.

I said to Harvey, 'I almost hate being drunk like this; everything just

passes me by.' Harvey said it didn't matter, Weiss beer meant 'white', 

meaning it was made with wheat and was supposed to have the taint

of banana in its taste. 'It's good shit', he said. Then he turned to her,

and (unbelievably, to me) said 'Hey, do you close the bathroom door

when you're home alone and taking a dump?' I nearly gagged. And then

she smiled  -  this was it, I thought  -  'Never,' she said, 'but I never take

a dump, my good friend, I leave one.' Whew! That was the end of that.