Tuesday, September 15, 2015


Me and Harvey Kinker, fat old Harvey Kinker,
we was drinking Weiss Beer at Farcher's Grove, old
Farcher's Grove what ain't there no more. We had our
motorcycles parked outside  -  I had my black 1980 FLH
and it was set to roar. This was 1994. I knew Landlord
pretty well, so I wasn't really sweating it; just in case anyone
else showed up I was packing, yeah. My friends at the German
Club here, I knew they'd cover me anyway  -  it was that kind
of world. Pagans and Angels, let me just say  -  back then anyway  -
they didn't mix too well. But I felt covered. Actually, I forget the
guy's name, Hans or Gunter, one of those, he ran the place and was
always ready to show off to me : Nazi memorabilia, believe that shit?
Big jeweled rings, Bundswahr, SS, Nazi Youth. How to figure? I was
lost. But it didn't matter, my answer was to get drunk. My fat friend,
Harvey, he got worse drunk than me and loud and starting obnoxious
too. That was Harvey; we always survived. With him, I'd already been
through things -  gunfire, FBI shit from nearby rooftops, stupid-ass
surreptitious cameras and undercover Biker geeks. One big blowjob
when you only wanted a fuck  -  know what I mean? I was careful;
shit I was always careful about was always out front. In comes Gunter's
wife  -  Lottee, unbelievably  -  maybe one e, I don't know. She sat by
us and told the bar guy to back us up. Uh oh, this can't be good. We
each shrugged. I said  -  'it's just a way to keep us here, yeah, and
it'll work, but why?' He said nothing. Smiled. Drank some more.
I said to Harvey, 'I almost hate being drunk like this; everything just
passes me by.' Harvey said it didn't matter, Weiss beer meant 'white', 
meaning it was made with wheat and was supposed to have the taint
of banana in its taste. 'It's good shit', he said. Then he turned to her,
and (unbelievably, to me) said 'Hey, do you close the bathroom door
when you're home alone and taking a dump?' I nearly gagged. And then
she smiled  -  this was it, I thought  -  'Never,' she said, 'but I never take
a dump, my good friend, I leave one.' Whew! That was the end of that.

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