2063. EPISTEMOLOGY AND GANGRENE

EPISTEMOLOGY

AND GANGRENE

And this devil has a way with words : those

cantilevered and spinning, wavering or about

to fall. He knows a few things about cause and

effect, guile and guilt, and the rest of that all.

-

Today is nearly February's end, and, in one

fell swoop, I am walking along 53rd and all those

other interior blocks which rest in this city's

crazed middle. Lights, camera, action. I

think of the people from a few years back -

those whose names are on walls and such -

and remember them now as, only alas, gone.

-

I've been called in once more to watch some films,

a few things by Warhol and one by Cornell. My
ancient friends, I listened to, and showed up with

dispatch. We sat and watched. Others, to whom

this was new, I found them laughing in the strangest

of places. Each spot in the films, evidently, we saw

differently. Two old people next to me stared steady

and straight ahead. The man had a walker, and the

woman guided him in, carefully - even though it

took him ten minutes to get settled in place.

Like watching a lamplight light.

-

Then I decided, in effect, that - all my life -

movies have bored me. Any movies at all.

I can't watch what I'm watching, can't

stop my mind from working, and can't

force myself to believe what they're

telling me I should be believing with

each scene. Somewhere else and far

away, I'm hanging, so to speak, instead

clouds on trees. Even these, sorry.

are better to see.