Friday, September 9, 2016


The New York years of my 
coincidence with the 
anti-Vietnam crusade 
and struggle meant a lot
to me  - it was a mission
as I've written here too.
I'm still there, in so many
ways, still 'shuckin' and jivin'
for that stuff to be made real:
Resistance. Purity. Truth. The
trouble is, nothing's changed. In
spite of everything  -  time, changes,
growth, and evolved thinking
thinking  -  I can still walk lower
Broadway and come to the old 
Whitehall Induction Station 
building, and want to whip it out
 and piss on the building, right there. 
Strong feelings are still existant. The 
Lord says you were meant to be
saved, or the Lord says nothing.
All my years I've had a good
grasp of the certitude necessary
to see things my own way. Not
too many people ever shared it,
and it's sometimes hard to
explain. Drawing out, as I
have, most every little detail
or point of whatever situation
and exploit I experienced,
all along the way, the personal
clarity has become clearer,
while at the same time so have
the points of conflict and
disagreement with others.
It's all grown : it involves
definitions, attitudes, and
my own back story. Following
that little thread of 'Gary', for
instance, from 1967 NYC  -
all that gross Vietnam stuff
and the rubble left behind  -
it's all still there. The same
sorts of people driving their
stupid-ass bargains about duty,
honor, country, all that crap,
are still standing athwart the
path of good sense. They've
not changed their thinking
one bit; just names and faces
are different. The old, dried
guys with their pasty, pocked
faces, they die off. They're
replaced by sons or daughters
of the same mindset, doing
the same tedious and deadly
thing. Military bullshit,
command and control,
systems of attack and the
firepower and false-balls
needed to go with it. 'Pride'
in doing the supposedly 'heroic'
things, which aren't heroic at
all because that's why you
joined up in the first place,
to do that shit. What else do
you want? There's nothing
heroic about it, except the
heroism of the stupid
propaganda value you
impart to it. You're doing
your duty, or aren't you?
That's why you're there.
So shut up then and do it;
I don't want to hear about
it, nor do I wish to deal
with your neediness.
The entire country has been
changed. Everything's now
nervous, neurotic, psychotic
or schizoid. It's completely
fallacious, and hellish too. I
wish the Native Americans
could just come back, nuke the
place, and reclaim the rubble.
Here are two perfect examples,
both of which rise right up
as I try to place my context,
from 1967 to now, within
this crummy, dead, world.
One item is the soft-step
backwards: myopic, stupid
thinking, just inviting disaster.
Over a hundred years of
roadways being built, paved,
cut. Towns and highways,
malls and parking lots in
all the places we live. All
those old Life Magazine
spreads and the rest, they
always proclaimed all that
as America prospering and
at its best : growth, expansion
etc. That was the national
mindset for oh so many
years. Now, all of a sudden
it's changed. Everywhere
one goes, the stupidity of
highway departments and
local municipal in-town
officials stares you in
the face. I never thought
I'd be writing about stuff
like this, but I am and it
really does have a place
in the context of my own
brain, which still works
pretty much on my own
1966 and 1967 ways  -
how things have, following
the threads begun bake
then, ended up today.
Elvis becoming U2  -
same shit, different day,
and with new sensitivities
worn on the sleeve. Stuff
like Little Richard turned
now into the piles of
defecation - that rap and
hip-hop, graffiti and all
that black cultural crap
we get stuck with,; people
who can't even talk calling
themselves 'fiddy-cent' and
L'il this or that, Kim, Wayne,
whatever.  Shits like 'A Boogie
Wid Da Hoodie' proclaiming
rap kingship "I think about it
a lot. I'm responsible for things
right now in my city" Or, "I ain't
wanna make that type of song
just now."I guess that's OK, then,
there's an asshole underneath
every woodpile, but to have the
New York Times actually cover
this stuff, profile the creeps and
have full page industry-drop
articles about every this and
that they do? What's up?
That's why 57,000 plus guys
were killed in Vietnam?
Slaughters of Vietnamese
and Laotions and Cambodians?
Just so Tenacious Fucking
D can pick his balls? 
Something's wrong. 
Even The New York
Times used to mean 
something. Now?
Now it's a pep-rally 
sheet for assholes, 
day after day.
So, all these towns, first,
long ago they install
walk/don't walk things
at the crosswalks. That's
OK. Then, over time, they
get rid of the words, for the
mass of newly arrived creeps
who can't read, and they start
using international X's and
hands, for the same messages;
then they maybe put a timer
button there, that the walker
can press to get a walk sign
going when the light finally
changes (most people think
they're actually affecting
the light to change, but,
whatever; fool's gold is
everywhere). Then, about
10 years ago, after all
of this has been in place
and fully established, towns
changed, and people made
absolutely dependent on
their stupid vehicles, these
same townspeople decide that,
all of a sudden, pedestrians
should come first. ow, in
spite of, and in the face off,
traffic running everywhere,
there are 'must-stop' crosswalks
absolutely everywhere, to
which people are supposed
to pay attention. Pedestrians
have been given absolute
priority and rights to walk,
wily-nily, wherever thy may,
no longer just at crosswalks,
and the totally distracted driver,
besides sexting on telephones,
has to watch for people too.
Trucks clogging everything up,
vehicles climbing the sides of
buildings, and idiots walking,
oblivious, and on their own
phones too To make it worse,
all these silly walk/don't walk
things still flash, although people
walk whenever, no matter, and
where. It's a completely negated
environment, because the overly-
rational input has taken over and
become extreme irrational and
schizophrenic behavior. What
is it you really want? First this,
then that? Which are you?
They pass a billions laws,
and nothing gets enforced
anyway. And now there are
just cars, trucks and anarchic
walking people everywhere,
thinking they can do 
just as they please.
And the other thing, equally
bizarre, maybe moreso: again
in light of the quasi-military-
takeover to which this country
has been made subject. As I 
pass the local high school  -  
as all the other schools along 
the way, each day, it's nice to
realize the police car at each 
school, even nicer to realize
our society enforces upon us
the mandatory need to enroll
our children and send them 
each day, into locked-down 
prison conditions, with no 
way out, and guarded by 
police. Nice to know the 
quality of life they get used
to, in the false name of
'safety'. Sometimes Satan 
really does come in the
name of the Lord. This
is, remember a heedless, 
Godless environment
we lock them into, where
neither the name nor the
word of Religion can be
spoken; only Government
and the enforcement of.
Anyway, I pass the schools
and guards and locked-in
populations, think again
of the past, and with it,
the Future. I get to a billboard
that always irks me. In today's
world, every little thing is an
infraction  -  child and wife
and family abuse, racial crimes,
obscenity, Dyfuss  -  the
Government meddlers 
again, stepping in taking 
your kids away or telling 
you how to raise them 
according to their decrees. 
Everything's a crime or a
problem these days. I pass 
this billboard, and it's near 
the schools to and not too 
far off from the train-station's 
painted Woodbridge walls 
with mural extolling wartime
and military service and wars. 
58,000 dead, my equals, my 
friends and brothers, have I 
mentioned? On the billboard, 
a fresh-faced kid, maybe 18, 
maybe, with white gloves, a 
military uniform, a cap. a 
proud, determined look. 
It's a recruiting billboard 
for the US Marines. I want 
to know. I want to know.
I want to know  -  why 
isn't that considered
child abuse?

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