8624. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW, #171

171. I WANT TO KNOW

The New York years of my 

coincidence with the 

anti-Vietnam crusade 

and struggle meant a lot

to me  - it was a mission

as I've written here too.

I'm still there, in so many

ways, still 'shuckin' and jivin'

for that stuff to be made real:

Resistance. Purity. Truth. The

trouble is, nothing's changed. In

spite of everything  -  time, changes,

growth, and evolved thinking

thinking  -  I can still walk lower

Broadway and come to the old 
Whitehall Induction Station 
building, and want to whip it out
 and piss on the building, right there. 
Strong feelings are still existant. The 
Lord says you were meant to be
saved, or the Lord says nothing.

All my years I've had a good

grasp of the certitude necessary

to see things my own way. Not

too many people ever shared it,

and it's sometimes hard to

explain. Drawing out, as I

have, most every little detail

or point of whatever situation

and exploit I experienced,

all along the way, the personal

clarity has become clearer,

while at the same time so have

the points of conflict and

disagreement with others.

It's all grown : it involves

definitions, attitudes, and

my own back story. Following

that little thread of 'Gary', for

instance, from 1967 NYC  -

all that gross Vietnam stuff

and the rubble left behind  -

it's all still there. The same

sorts of people driving their

stupid-ass bargains about duty,

honor, country, all that crap,

are still standing athwart the

path of good sense. They've

not changed their thinking

one bit; just names and faces

are different. The old, dried

guys with their pasty, pocked

faces, they die off. They're

replaced by sons or daughters

of the same mindset, doing

the same tedious and deadly

thing. Military bullshit,

command and control,

systems of attack and the

firepower and false-balls

needed to go with it. 'Pride'

in doing the supposedly 'heroic'

things, which aren't heroic at

all because that's why you

joined up in the first place,

to do that shit. What else do

you want? There's nothing

heroic about it, except the

heroism of the stupid

propaganda value you

impart to it. You're doing

your duty, or aren't you?

That's why you're there.

So shut up then and do it;

I don't want to hear about

it, nor do I wish to deal

with your neediness.

-

The entire country has been

changed. Everything's now

nervous, neurotic, psychotic

or schizoid. It's completely

fallacious, and hellish too. I

wish the Native Americans

could just come back, nuke the

place, and reclaim the rubble.

Here are two perfect examples,

both of which rise right up

as I try to place my context,

from 1967 to now, within

this crummy, dead, world.

-

One item is the soft-step

backwards: myopic, stupid

thinking, just inviting disaster.

Over a hundred years of

roadways being built, paved,

cut. Towns and highways,

malls and parking lots in

all the places we live. All

those old Life Magazine

spreads and the rest, they

always proclaimed all that

as America prospering and

at its best : growth, expansion

etc. That was the national

mindset for oh so many

years. Now, all of a sudden

it's changed. Everywhere

one goes, the stupidity of

highway departments and

local municipal in-town

officials stares you in

the face. I never thought

I'd be writing about stuff

like this, but I am and it

really does have a place

in the context of my own

brain, which still works

pretty much on my own

1966 and 1967 ways  -

how things have, following

the threads begun bake

then, ended up today.

Elvis becoming U2  -

same shit, different day,

and with new sensitivities

worn on the sleeve. Stuff

like Little Richard turned

now into the piles of

defecation - that rap and

hip-hop, graffiti and all

that black cultural crap

we get stuck with,; people

who can't even talk calling

themselves 'fiddy-cent' and

L'il this or that, Kim, Wayne,

whatever.  Shits like 'A Boogie

Wid Da Hoodie' proclaiming

rap kingship "I think about it

a lot. I'm responsible for things

right now in my city" Or, "I ain't

wanna make that type of song

just now."I guess that's OK, then,

there's an asshole underneath

every woodpile, but to have the

New York Times actually cover

this stuff, profile the creeps and

have full page industry-drop

articles about every this and

that they do? What's up?

That's why 57,000 plus guys

were killed in Vietnam?

Slaughters of Vietnamese

and Laotions and Cambodians?

Just so Tenacious Fucking

D can pick his balls? 

Something's wrong. 

Even The New York

Times used to mean 

something. Now?

Now it's a pep-rally 

sheet for assholes, 

day after day.

-

So, all these towns, first,

long ago they install

walk/don't walk things

at the crosswalks. That's

OK. Then, over time, they

get rid of the words, for the

mass of newly arrived creeps

who can't read, and they start

using international X's and

hands, for the same messages;

then they maybe put a timer

button there, that the walker

can press to get a walk sign

going when the light finally

changes (most people think

they're actually affecting

the light to change, but,

whatever; fool's gold is

everywhere). Then, about

10 years ago, after all

of this has been in place

and fully established, towns

changed, and people made

absolutely dependent on

their stupid vehicles, these

same townspeople decide that,

all of a sudden, pedestrians

should come first. ow, in

spite of, and in the face off,

traffic running everywhere,

there are 'must-stop' crosswalks

absolutely everywhere, to

which people are supposed

to pay attention. Pedestrians

have been given absolute

priority and rights to walk,

wily-nily, wherever thy may,

no longer just at crosswalks,

and the totally distracted driver,

besides sexting on telephones,

has to watch for people too.

Trucks clogging everything up,

vehicles climbing the sides of

buildings, and idiots walking,

oblivious, and on their own

phones too To make it worse,

all these silly walk/don't walk

things still flash, although people

walk whenever, no matter, and

where. It's a completely negated

environment, because the overly-

rational input has taken over and

become extreme irrational and

schizophrenic behavior. What

is it you really want? First this,

then that? Which are you?

They pass a billions laws,

and nothing gets enforced

anyway. And now there are

just cars, trucks and anarchic

walking people everywhere,

thinking they can do 

just as they please.

-

And the other thing, equally

bizarre, maybe moreso: again

in light of the quasi-military-

takeover to which this country

has been made subject. As I 

pass the local high school  -  

as all the other schools along 

the way, each day, it's nice to

realize the police car at each 

school, even nicer to realize

our society enforces upon us

the mandatory need to enroll

our children and send them 

each day, into locked-down 

prison conditions, with no 

way out, and guarded by 

police. Nice to know the 

quality of life they get used

to, in the false name of

'safety'. Sometimes Satan 

really does come in the

name of the Lord. This

is, remember a heedless, 

Godless environment

we lock them into, where

neither the name nor the

word of Religion can be

spoken; only Government

and the enforcement of.

Anyway, I pass the schools

and guards and locked-in

populations, think again

of the past, and with it,

the Future. I get to a billboard

that always irks me. In today's

world, every little thing is an

infraction  -  child and wife

and family abuse, racial crimes,

obscenity, Dyfuss  -  the

Government meddlers 

again, stepping in taking 

your kids away or telling 

you how to raise them 

according to their decrees. 

Everything's a crime or a

problem these days. I pass 

this billboard, and it's near 

the schools to and not too 

far off from the train-station's 

painted Woodbridge walls 

with mural extolling wartime

and military service and wars. 

58,000 dead, my equals, my 

friends and brothers, have I 

mentioned? On the billboard, 

a fresh-faced kid, maybe 18, 

maybe, with white gloves, a 

military uniform, a cap. a 

proud, determined look. 

It's a recruiting billboard 

for the US Marines. I want 

to know. I want to know.

I want to know  -  why 

isn't that considered

child abuse?