3439. LANCELOT MAGEMONTY

LANCELOT MAGEMONTY

He lost a finger in some industrial accident;

motorized cutters ripping through steel or

something like that. It was said, above the

din, that he never even flinched, just bent

down to pick up the finger and simply walked

away. They took him to the hospital, but

nothing could be done. It was a thumb, and

he remained that way (thumbless by one)

the rest of his life. Good story, neatly told.

-

I'd met men like this before : rigor-mortis types,

of the mind, of course  -  staring endlessly at

some TV screen to see inane game-show

hostesses wiggle, or to laugh at a late-night

risque joke. They really only come alive when

watching boxing matches or football games.

Everything else leaves them dead and limp

as a really old man's wampeteer.

-

There was a lazy susan on that living room

table. He had it filled with Mason Mints and

spun it fast  -  so fast that the idea was to

see who could shoot a Mason Mint the farthest

off the table. Longest distance won. Each bet

was a dollar. No, I never played, but he was good.

-

Now, seeing as how I've told you all this,

I may as well admit. It's all made up and

I really don't have a clue where I came up

with this tale. But, in my mind, I could

somehow imagine it all occurring.