Monday, March 20, 2017


9308. 'DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO SAY THIS' (columbia crossroads, pennsylvania, 1974):

I loved your never-ending story of the time you went to the time before that which in turn led to - well you know how it runs and it's really so easy to just continue and all that brain-addled crazy stuff just seems running to and fro like the time the guy in the hay loft fell to the floor below having slept a long sleep in the surreptitious attic where he'd never should have gone and the only real problem was in how he fell right into the collected pile of that day's cow shit which was put there at the end of the day to be added to with the next morning's cow shit and taken out in the spreader (16 Holsteins and 3 Jerseys three times a day makes plenty of chowder) and how once he was found out said that it wasn't so much the falling into the cowshit that sucked big time but more it was how it all got into his mouth cause he was too busy being startled - all that brown runny juice and smelly pulverized straw and stuff all together dripping like some really wicked runny syrup - a bad molasses made from cows' asses - as he put it wisely enough and just like a sage but once he was found out the explaining had to be done and excused - after all anyone homeless on the walking lam and just wandering from place to place even in the deep country can be forgiven for seeking shelter and comfort and warmth - and after he was excused and then found out of course he had to be cleaned up and the farmer's wife (delectable creature that she was) thought very little of it and - in their ploy to further humiliate the man - and this is all a very funny farmer humor but believe you me it's all true and people are still laughing - had him strip naked for her right in front of her as she cleaned and replaced his clothes and then - believe you me again - took him to bed and requested nicely that they have sex - which was done - and then fed the man a meal and reclothed him in cleaned and fine clothes and the farmer came back in a bit later and - pretending not to know any of this - sat socially with the fellow until he was ready to leave and then smiled shook his hand and laughed him off as the awkward fellow bolted darted bamboozled himself away : and as odd as all this seems (how the wanderers are treated how the homeless walkabouts are used for local comic relief) everyone and I mean everyone had a major crazed good laugh over this for a very long time - wicked farm humor really knowing no bounds.

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