261. THE GREAT DIVIDE
There are always great
divides. I tried straddling
mine. It never worked
out. One time I just
figured I'd better
get rolling, so I just
moved along. My big
hang-up always seemed
to be religion and
philosophy, mixed.
I just could never figure
things out. It's easiest
to just 'stay easy' and
not get heavy about
things, but I was
bent in the other
direction and always
went overboard. Like
that windshield wiper
stuff in the previous
chapter - who would
ever dwell on that?
Most people would
just go on, move along;
job, family, kids, wife,
making a living, and
all the rest. Really, only
a bug collector inspects
bugs. I got stuck in
this religious groove
for a long time and
it pretty much put an
end to lots of other
stuff. Existential doubt
tends to do that to
people. Like crossing
at a traffic light and
- even if the crossing
looks correct - walking
with the feeling that a
truck's about to plow
you down. I just always
felt I (or 'we' as humanity)
were just missing
something. Just couldn't
get a handle on what,
and all the cross-currents
of the rest of this existence
weren't answering for me.
It was all a muddle, and
my heart was crying out
for the answer in the
middle of all the rest :
Everything in the
Creation, no matter
what others said - the
losers and the smart-asses
too - everything seemed
owned and controlled by
the Lord, a God, some
Nature-force of Time
and Being. That seemed
perfectly apparent to
me. All the frivolities
in the world couldn't
break that down. One
had to therefore accept
only the things necessary
for himself (or her),
which are set aside as
his or hers 'quotient,'
as it were. We each
get a certain, differing
allotment. One had
to get over that fact,
and live with it. One
should NOT accept
other things, knowing
that they then belong
to the Lord. This is
all made sense enough
to me, but it never flew
very well : you walk
down 57th street, Fifth
Ave., Harry Winston,
and all those jewelers
and furriers and big
fancy department
stores, rich people
and strivers gobbling
up all they could under
every pretense and
gimmicky holiday
excuse - to cover
their pain and hurt
- and you could
easily forget all that.
All life ever seemed
to be, to me, was like
one of those old TV
dramas or westerns,
from the old days,
where some guy,
all shot up and
gasping-to-die,
somehow manages
to find the time to
make some long,
drawn-out speech,
his last words as it
were, that either
solves or wraps up
the riddles and
quandaries the
episode or film
had just presented,
and then - last breath
- just perfectly
dies, right after
spitting it all out.
Timing like God!
A joke back then
was 'You know
what it's called
when you die broke?'
The answer was
'Perfect timing.' It
was supposed to be
har-har funny, but
psychologically I
always figured it
said a lot about the
teller of it. Not the
bank teller; the
person relating
the joke. If all
that's that much
on your mind,
what's up?
-
I realized that -
in Nature - most
things were pretty
perfectly worked
out. Birds and
beasts, perfectly
maintained : the
elephant eating its
hundred pounds
a day, the ant its
few grains. If Man
doesn't interfere,
the natural balance
sustains everything.
I always figure it
was US who
screwed things
up. This 'God' thing
had it done perfectly.
To God, everything
is his son or daughter,
all the earth's inhabitants,
the same. The creatures
of land, water, or air,
all are his sons and
daughters. Yet we,
his human characters,
the 'most advanced'
of his creatures,
treat these other sons
and daughters with
great cruelty -
animal slaughter,
abuse, penning,
killing, eating them,
destroying forests
and land, ruining
waterways, and
the rest. It's no
wonder we get such
powerful natural
disasters. I just
figured everyone
was wrong. 'Wrong.'
Capital 'W'. The
city streets - and
even my home
town places - had
it all screwed up,
and people were
just walking-dead.
The 'desire' for
sense-gratification
(I was reading
Buddhist stuff)
had ruined everything,
had taken them right
past the consideration
of anyone else's
rights. Animal, or
human. The
'brotherhood' of
all creatures, and
the 'oneness' of
all things depended
on understanding
the universal
Parenting of this
Lord-God. It
wasn't just some
hippie-dippy
gobbledygook I
was taking in, it
went way past that
and it was coming
out my pores,
formed in the
of my being. I
had that role to
play, and I sensed
the action. Mankind
was foul, and going
rank and rancid.
-
I studied Vedic literature.
My teacher was a
Vedic scholar and a
leader of what was
called the 'Tullulu Literary
Society. His last name
was Shastri. (There was
also a 'Sastri' then, who
was the Prime Minister
of India, but my guy
had the 'h' in his name).
This all involved ancient
Sanskrit writings, from the
beginnings of 'time', as it
were. The Vedic Literature
(you can look it up) is an
immense underpinning to
our current cultures of
human consciousness. It's
filled with mystery and
strange things - all the
sorts of material about
our 'Human' origins that
Western culture just buried
and ignored. Not even
wanting to hear about it,
so disgustingly adept
had that become in taking
everything over, chasing
temporary things until
they died and swearing
that was the end. Duplicitous,
both sides of the mouth,
like the Hebrews with
their stupid Day of
Atonement, once a
year, where supposedly
they forgive and forget
all the nasty, cheating
and rotten money-chasing
crap they've done all
year, and then - having
the 'slate wiped clean -
set out the next day to
start it all over for
another year. Vedics
would have none of
that; in fact all that
'Aryan' stuff comes
right out of all this
Indo-stuff. It's all
pretty crazy but I'd
put my faith and
my dollars too on
any aspect of this
bizarre Vedic stuff
to account for my
own being and
consciousness
than over some
fire-breathing
and cranky Hebrew
War God. The Vedic
origin tales are
massive, and they're
extra-terrestrial too;
just like 'God' is.
Ever wonder about that?
-
The Supreme Lords
owns and controls the
entire creation. Not
a blade of grass
moves without His
(Its) sanction. He is
the complete whole.
What is our position?
Vedic literature will
tell you - our natural,
constitutional goal is
to serve God. He is
the supreme enjoyer,
and we are meant to
take part in His
enjoyment through
service to Him, not
by trying to enjoy
separately. He is
omnipotent and
thus completely
independent. Our
minute independence
is a tiny reflection
of His total
independence.
It is our misuse
(just look around
you) of that minute
independence and
our attempt to
enjoy separate
from Him that
have resulted in
our current
predicament.
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