Tuesday, July 26, 2016

8442. THE LAST INEBRIANT

THE LAST INEBRIANT
Girl comes in with craft beer. Big 
smile. That's what we like, the 
good stuff. Open carry here in 
Sassafras Manor. Put it all 
down on the table. Please. 
Please. Let's us talk. Uh,
sweetheart, I think 'open 
carry' is yet about guns, 
firearms, you know,
not beer.' 
-
'Forearms?' she asks. I
wink with my nose, 'Yeah, 
yeah, that's it. It's on the
ballot in November.
-
She's come in here with 
a cat, and I've come in here 
with a dog. It's a pet-friendly
bar, with a fenced area outside
for dogs to run while you drink.
They call it 'Open Bark', and it's
got 'bark tenders' to keep things
going. 'I like your dog,' she coyly
says. 'And I like your pussy', I 
want to say back, but don't.
-
I call my feline, 'Felicity.' 
'How nice is that?' I reply.
'I call my dog 'Capacity', and
that's why she's fat.'

No comments: