RUDIMENTS, pt. 1,083
(my new coquettish outlay)
(my new coquettish outlay)
I used to be the world's most
powerful banker, famed in
all corners of the globe. Now,
I need to ask, if it's a globe,
would you, as reader, accept
my saying 'corners?' Basically,
New York City is flattish and
rectangular, with lots of right
angles and squared-off streets.
Nothing too 'global' about
that? When people square off,
however, to fight each other,
what is the first thing they do?
Put their fists up, and slowly
dance, bob, and weave about
each other, in an almost circular
fashion, looking for an in or an
opportunity to punch. They go
global, as it were.
-
Anyone ever hear of Doutzen
Kroes? I certainly have not, yet
this irksome female model gets
a lot of modern attention with
her silly interview answers : 'My
greatest sense of meaning comes
from [I paraphrase] I think nature.
We all say we love to appreciate
the little things, but I feel like the
little things are huge and spectacular.
When I'm in the garden and I see
Springtime and I see everything
blooming again, it's such a miracle,
and we take that for granted all the
time.' Wow, man, that model there
sure is some thinker!
-
Roger Federer drinks freshly ground
coffee. "We were in raincoats, with
our clippers, gather plants we'd never
seen before.' Global pillager Lindsey
Adelman.
-
You see, these are the points that
predictively show why this country
had essentially disintegrated. Since
the turn of the century, most certainly,
and before that too, back in those
damned old, pre-hip-literate and only
slightly ironic, before the planes
hit the towers, days, Manhattanites
have collided into each other to
form one, amorphous blob of the
self-righteous, fanning out now too
to the miserable stretch-ends of places
like Brooklyn, Hoboken, and Jersey
City too. Everything has changed, and
that is the pale consciousness by which
others now judge others.
-
'Miranda July,' whoever she may be,
(can I still say she?), says: 'The times
when I turn off my phone? For at least
three hours a day I put it in this clear
lockbox with a timer so I can write
with no distractions. I set Freedom
on my computer for the same amount
of time.' [So she can't write, and
instead then goes back on the phone?
shout out to the Genius Bar - what
is she saying, and where do these
assholes come from?]
-
Oh, one more from her: 'At what
percentage do I feel compelled to
charge my phone? Twenty percent. I
have a really big, heavy charger that
I lug around. It could charge a
refrigerator.' Charge a refrigerator?
-
Make a shrub: 'Combine peels from
a lemon with half a cup of sugar. Muddle
and let sit for 24 hours. Remove peels,
add half a cup of white vinegar, and
shake.' Do you know what interested
me in this? The use of the word 'muddle.'
As a verb. I'd never before seen that.
Back in the 1990's my friend Bernadette,
over at Jonathan Swift's Hibernian
Lodge (that was the formal name, but
it was referred to simple as 'Swift's'),
she knew all these drinks and things
to male, mix, brew, and serve. And
she was good at it. I don't even know
if a 'shrub' is a bar thing or not, but
I can envision her messing with it.
Irish lilt accent, from her homeland;
wonderful little rolling encyclopedia
of accented oaths and curses. 'I'll
fookin' make then an'thing they
want, if they pay. And pay Godamned
first. If''n they want mother's milk
and vodka, I'd shit-squeeze it myself.'
And then the lounge-cad with the
Irish Times, at the end of the bar,
would shout back, Bern'dette ya'
fuckin' sous, you make them but
you never make me!' Yep, that's
the kind of a place it was. One
time, about 1998, I had my
motorcycle there, parked out
front, and she swore up and
down my royal zipper that at her
appointed break time I'd be taking
her around New York City on
the back of that Harley. So I
did. It was like an instant date.
I left my others in the bar, she
hopped on - providing two
beers, no less - and we went
recreational drunk-driving
through the canyons of the fair
erstwhile dump. Between cars,
around taxis, over humps, and
(almost) under buses. Steady speed
was my norm; a rolling thunder
was my form. Exhaust echo
resounding, downtown and up.
She was exhilarated, and I was
blitzed. Sometimes I do wonder
how I never got killed. My friend
Neil used to say I'd never make it
to five-after-eight, weaving and
darting between traffic as I was.
[Note to reader: yes, there are
enough lights in NYC that, if you
have a good and attentive passenger,
drinking can be done about every
25 seconds light to light. Watch
for cops and police cars, of course,
and ignore the shocked faces of
the other stiffs in their cars).
-
Rubies have long served as symbols
of love, power and, because their
color is reminiscent of blood, life.
Van Cleef & Arpels sells a Jardin
de Rubis necklace, of an 18.12
carat 'cushion-cut Tanzanian' ruby,
In which the scarlet stone stands
out for the purity of its color. It
is surrounded by clusters of
pink and white diamonds and
rubies, inspired by 'a forest in
bloom.' The necklace's prized
centerpiece can also be detached
and worn as a pin. (price upon
request: vancleefarpels.com)
-
In 'The Blind Assassin,' Margaret
Atwood writes, 'Touch comes
before sight, before speech. It
is the first language and the last,
and it always tells the truth.'
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