Friday, January 16, 2015

6262. WHEN KING ARTHUR WAS THE EDITOR

WHEN KING ARTHUR 
WAS THE EDITOR
When King Arthur was the Editor, no one
ever wrote about Allah or any of that stuff :
Sir Lancelot was always around, and everything 
written was 'Guinivere this' or 'Maid Marian 
that.' It got pretty tired, pretty quickly. We
all used to sit around at staff meetings
and pretend she'd just gotten pregnant
by someone else  - and found out.
How would the paper handle that?
-
No bother. There was enough bloodshed to
go around and keep all us writers busy  -  a
scribbled note about a fight on a bridge, a big,
fat Squire somewhere, another guy we'd never
met  -  some Robin Hood fellow stealing. We'd
jumble up the timings to mess with people's
heads, and no one in charge knew any better
anyway  -  print the wrong date, by hundreds 
years even; no comment ever came back.
-
Ah, those good old days  -  when swans were
all the King owned and the regal deer were still
off-limits for poaching. Even though the damn
peasants always killed them anyway. When
King Arthur was the Editor, no one 
ever said a word.

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