13,836. TREADLE MY MEANDERS SLOWLY

TREADLE MY 

MEANDERS SLOWLY

In the library of Carstair Hills, I saw

what I wanted to see. Three girls were

sitting across from me, and I was maybe

18 again! They used to call me a sweet

old guy; now it's a dirty old man? One

Humbert Humbert, that's me, all over

again? I want to treadle my cream on

your bagel. The librarian said 'Shush!'

-

I'd never even actually heard that

word before, only read in Tom Sawyer.

Becky Thatcher and a bunch of those

kids trying to get her where they wanted.

Shush holds hush, so it's easy to get,

every for some Mark Twain brat.

-

Everything is so different these days:

Twain said now that Jim would be

totally different, and Becky'd be

probably knocked up. 'How in the

tarnation', he said, 'are we supposed

to figure anything out now? Up is

down  -   so professed anyway  -   

but I still can't write what I was

meaning to say.' I told him to just

give it up, and it ain't worth trying.

-

And then I said, 'Hey, Sam, have

you ever heard of Zane Grey? He's

like Bret Harte was, but about

different things. Did you know 

his first name was really 'Pearl?'