RUDIMENTS, pt. 1,195
(something with something for everyone?)
We compound error by attempting
to fix it, wouldn't you say? Just
as the early frost kills the late
living things, whatever fruits
are left hanging will die. I often
thought of this as I walked what
was left of Elmira. During the
years I lived there, it was moribund,
in the manner of a place that has
lived itself out of time. Sure, it all
went on still - the people had
houses, the streets were property
arrayed, there were 5 or 6 firehouse
stations, like cities do. But behind
all of that, the vitality that was
lacking gave the place a shady
look. It wasn't quite 'urban', even
though - as tired, old industrial
cities go - it had its share of the
same problems any NYState place
back then had. Poverty. Run-down
areas. Abandoned stuff and raggedy
old streets more country than not -
as if things were slowly trying to
simply fall back into some previous
place or category of being. Over the
previous hundred years there had been
some famous people from there, the
usual dross of America's new celebrity
culture who claimed it as birthplace
though not 'home' : beginning with
Mark Twain and the Rev. Thomas
Ward Beecher, all those abolitionist
crusades and runaway slaves, the
list ran right up to the then-present
days of the mid 1970's. Hal Roach,
Tommy Hilfiger. Bernadette Peters.
Bend the categories and you could
find others. I never cared about that
stuff, but I got a kick out of knowing.
When I first met Tommy Hilfiger, he
was just a midget-like, teen schlub.
Elmira had weird things too, workings
I only learned about there. There was
this operation called 'Toastmasters
International, which I only learned
about because we did printing for
it; monthly newsletters and such.
It was a professional organization
for Emcees. 'Toastmasters,' as they
called themselves. I'd never heard,
nor realized, that there was such a
thing, nor that there was a subculture
like that of professionals who took
that line seriously - guys who did
roasts and conventions, sort of
like the old 'tummlers' of the once
fruitful Catskills comedy circuit,
all those guys like Jackie Mason
and Danny Kaye, and many others,
who came out of that milieu -
opening up, or softening up, crowds
for the music or variety acts that
followed. Nightly entertainments
on a fat, Jewish wedge, like a
'schmear' on a bagel. Anyway,
this was a 'professional' organization
for people in that field. Originally
just known as fools or goofballs,
these later-generation emcees got
some respect, through 'Toastmasters.'
-
At the same time, in Elmira (all
these odd offices and storefronts
ran along Water Street, right at the
river, and were all smashed to bits
in the 1972 raging flood from
Hurricane Agnes. Most never
came back), there was another
organization, same sort of thing,
called 'Dancemasters' - also with
a monthly newsletter for members;
brochures, photo sheets, booklets,
etc., for which we did the printing.
Dancemasters was, I guess, for
performance dancing pros, teachers
of dance, ballroom owners, or
whatever. The two people who
ran 'Dancemasters' were, truly,
among the oddest people I met in
Elmira, or anywhere. I forget their
names right now, but they were
both, in the most fantastically perfect
way, sincere cut-out from the 1940's -
hadn't changed a whit. Formal dress,
rigid postures, clipped, perverse
diction. I can't remember, but I'd
also ay money on them using
cigarette holders. The guy was
pretty tall, the lady was pretty
short - and that was an odd
combination that always baffled
me, imagining how awkward the
two, together, must have come
off on the professional dance floor.
but, no matter. Elmira seemed prone
to capturing such odd leftovers,
on their ways down - or if not
'down,' then in their long, weird
Limbo of what amounted to holding
patterns unto death. Like the
small city itself.
-
Tommy Hilfiger worked, at that time,
for another of those oddball, Water
Street storefront guys, some old
haberdasher fellow. He always
reminded me of Harry Truman
(a President), who was also a
haberdasher, in Missouri or
Kansas somewhere before being
kicked upstairs by the political
guys as the suit-fitter President.
Then he 'wrinkled everything by
dropping those two A-bombs on
the Japs - which in many cases
saved your Daddies' lives, folks,
by ending the war in the Pacific.
-
This fellow had a men's shop,
'Gentleman's Quarters' I think
it was, or something like that. It
always reminded me of his taking
men's money, except there was
nothing in there for a quarter. He
was an inveterate 'reformer' and
letter-to-the-editor writer in the
Elmira Star-Gazette, the local
newspaper (one of the first
'Gannett' papers, the company
that came up with USA Today).
There were post-flood plans afoot,
as usual, to gutting and savaging
the town (which all eventually
happened) for re-developments
and changes, new bridges, new
flood-plain parks and walkways,
removing the damaged areas,
changing construction zoning,
etc. - all the things that alter
completely, and kill, the older
aspects of whatever charm the
places may have (had). Anyway,
he bounced back, stayed somehow
in business, and, until he broke
off and opened his own, young
people's store, Tommy Hilfiger
worked there. The old guy was
a constant thorn in the side, for
the Mayor and group that ran
Elmira, and his opinions and letters
were endless, but had some good
ideas. I responded to one, also in
the newspaper, and he contacted
me. We became chums of a sort,
talked things over. He always
wanted me to come along with
him to council meetings and
hearings and such, and pipe up,
but I always declined. Between
having a young son. family, house,
work and college to tend to, I just
never wanted to fir more in.
-
So, yes, the entire town did get
revamped. The old codger died.
The 'Mark Twain Hotel' had its
dissolution auction - all sorts of
cool 1890's hotel-culture stuff,
downtown became the same but
totally different. Losing ALL
vestiges of the past, it assumed
a common unrecognizability that
brought it more firmly into the
late-1970's junk-shop stage of
normal American culture. Ten
years later or so, Hilfiger was
big-time.
(this is part one of 'Elmira')
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