13,124. RUDIMENTS, pt. 1, 067

RUDIMENTS, pt. 1,067
(ex post chango!)

Normally a person doesn't go

around declaiming what a mess 

they are, but in this episode I'm

undertaking a class-action suit

against myself to prove it so. I

think I've lost (some) control,

become un-keeled; whatever

that would exactly mean. If the

entire realm of creation is at all

times underway with some form

of flux  -  beyond the recognition

patterns of our ordinary existence,

then what's the use of anything

and who should care, and why

isn't everything then just some

other sick form of instant-nostalgia?

You can read all the books in China

and the USA and still come away

dumb as a camel's bump. I knew

a girl once, back in the ABATE

office, who would often enough

come downstairs to show me her

latest tattoo, or piercing. As tenants

upstairs to my office, her and her

over-the-road boyfriend, truck-

driving boyfriend, when home,

were very noisy lovers. I heard it

all. And, then when he was away,

I most often got to see it all, as

far as tattoos and, ahem, certain

and varied 'piercings.' Awkward

indeed, but I always kept it to the

'look but don't touch' variety of

unspoken code. Poor girl could

have been a real, free, handful,

but I declined myself each time.

Wondering all the same what her

threshold of reality was and how

and if she was ever in the idea of

the 'constancy' of cosmic change

based upon the ay the universe

was based and functioning

around her. Obviously, she was

not, because everything was the

same. But then I used to think how

much show was missing out on

this life by expecting the 'same.

After all, how many tattoos or

piercings does one need to make

the point being made? Change

is the only constancy, as most

tattoos will tell you in thirty

year's time anyway. Piercings?

I don't know, but I do know

that 'sensitive' lady parts bear

the brunt of that intrusion.

-

Another interesting point to

make, for me to make, want to

state, bring up, etc. (Someone 

told me I'm 'still in mourning 

and yet grieving' for my dig; 

thus the peculiar irrationality. 

I disagree, will not digress).

Those words are awfully close

to each other, no? How is

anyone to know these things 

anyway?...Going back to

John Updike, he once likened

reconstructions of John Kennedy's

assassination to the 'indeterminacy

of subatomic particles.' Pretty

cool  -  each reconstruction bears

the differences of any previous

'reconarution,' which may have

changed or altered the facts or

the overall viewpoint of the

worldview of that assassination  -

a curious one done on the run,

in movement in fact! - which 

assassinatin, before long, and

with all of these so many pilings

on of conjecture and 'supposeds,'

no longer has any 'Reality' at all

and is different from any fixed

telling at any time. 'Calling Mr.

Zapruder!'

-

Much like Claudia's fine body

piercings  -  which were put into

place as fixed determinants but

which, over time, move and sag

stretch the fabric of the skin

into which they are 'set'  -   they

eventually appear very different,

again, in some 40 years: though,

alas, the Claudia here in question

is no longer among the living either.

Thus, my canine AND my human

referents too here are altered and

beyond comprehension within the

changed annals of Time. Where

do I go? Where do I go?

-

An artist named Antony Gormley

once created a series of sculptures

exploring how form takes shape

through randomness, Now there's a

concept, but don't think it too hard,

someone will soon come by and

try to put a 'program' onto that

'randomness' and ruin all the

human joy it may have.

-

In 1928, a British astronomer,

Arthur Eddington, argued that

the indeterminacy of the quantum

universe opened the way for the

reintroduction of the spiritual into

the world, initiating a line of

thinking that associates the

paradoxes of the quantum world

with the mysteries of religion.

Just go ahead, look at the deep

night sky; I dare you. You then

tell me. AND, some years later,

an American physicist named

Arthur H. Compton (something

about that name Arthur?), argued

that the quantum world pointed

to the existence of God; and in

the funky 1970's a group that

called itself the 'Fundamental

Fysiks Group related quantum

mechanics to New Age Eastern

mysticism. Here's sort of where

it all gets too much for me: a 

complete Unity of One being

surely the flip-side of any stupid

American E Pluribus Unum, 

which was paradoxical enough, 

and especially to those feeble 

Rationalists, who kept tripping

over their odd categories at

Carpenters Hall, Philadelphia.

-

Oh hell then, NOTHING works

because NOTHING is all there is:

In the sixth century B.C., there

was Pythagoras claiming, with

his disciples, that everything in

the world could be described by

whole numbers (?) and their

ratios, and more than two

millennia later, Descartes made

a powerful case for a perfectly

rational and mathematically

knowable universe. BUT, each

time, the rigorous schemes fell

victim to the forces of change

and disorder: The Pythagoreans

had their 'quantum moment' 

when they suddenly discovered 

irrational numbers, which proved 

the hopelessness of their quest;

and Descartes followers were

likewise sideswiped by Newton's

discovery of universal gravity.

-

An unruly world, keeping its

deepest mysteries to itself?

All I know is my dog is dead.

Claudia too is dead. And, for

this moment, I am yet alive;

rehearsing my own c'est la vie?