9135. SLOW-COOKED NOODLEHEADS

SLOW-COOKED 

NOODLEHEADS

I was going to call this 'Why I Want

To Be a Bigamist,' but I couldn't really

find a way into that title. I mean, as I've

heard, restless sperm is one thing, but

this is something else entire : a heart

where a head can be, or a surfboard

that crushes a groin. I'm told, in a

fierce and heavy surf, when flying

loose, they can be as deadly as

missiles. Take off a head, or

crush it, like Mike Cantor's.

-

It's all too much to handle, one at a

time, in sequence. You see. That's 

why I want bigamy instead. My 

first wife was a black girl from 

Wyanon, North Carolina. She was

great, and then she died when

she fell off a plow. Left me

plenty empty. Then my second

wife was a beauty queen, only 24,

from Peurli, Maine. Man she

could knock-out, and the sexual

gymnastics almost broke my

chicken-neck. She ran off with

some guy named Bolster Hamran.

I don't know where she is. Now

I still have two. Barbara, from

New York; really great. And

Maryann from Catsford, PA.

They get along really well.

-

No quarrel, and both agree

it's far better this way. Come

tax-time, one  has always to be

left out. They flip for it.