Monday, July 31, 2017

9799. DON'T SAY VULNERABLE AROUND ME

DON'T SAY VULNERABLE 
AROUND ME
Man, I can't stand that  -  sensitivity stuff, the
whole runaround. Chuck the weasel in his teeth,
and move on. I just start hearing how someone
feels so 'vulnerable' on some given topic and I 
seek the red light reading 'Exit' right off the bat. 
'Scuze me, boys, I'm leavin' this meetin' even
before we start eatin.'

9798. WHAT WAS THAT GARAGE FOR?

WHAT WAS THAT GARAGE FOR?
Way back when, about 1961, in Jersey
City, New Jersey, they caught some guy,
for good  -  big time embezzlement, with
money all over the place. 'Murph the Surf,'
or 'Happy Chandler,' something like that was
his name. Mob stuff, illicit deeds, bad money.
It was all stuffed into this garage they kept,
in the middle of a long row of car fix-it shops.
No one figured for a thing  -  they just kept a
wreck or two out front, and had hired two
lunkhead kids to be there with wrenches and
hammers and tires. Just to make it look legit.
What a racket. It was funny, because they made
no noise, but it was a racket, run by the mob,
running a racket -  taking bets and money, and
never paying off, fixing the take, screwing up the
results and squeezing everyone then to pay up.
Or, if not, take your debt to the grave with you.
Oh boy. There was some real excitement. I was
in Boy Scout Camp when I heard about it all.
Camp Cowaw (that means 'small pine' in some
local Indian tongue, they say). It came over the
radio one morning while we were having breakfast
in that crummy cabin they kept for eating. The
Scoutmaster guy, Mr. Hill, was drinking his coffee.
Then the news, everyone got interested, and every
high intention and high-sounding Boy Scout platitude
went right down the drain. Trustworthy. Helpful.
Loyal, and brave. Yeah, sure, right.

9797. HOW IT HAPPENED

HOW IT HAPPENED
How it happened, they never knew : he grew
to be nine feet tall, and could no longer sit at
the table with the others. Clumsy as an oaf,
they nonetheless tried making a basketball 
player of him, to no avail. He was useless,
and usually tripped over his own two feet.
And his own feet too.

9796. HOW FEEBLE IS SUCH A MOMENT

HOW FEEBLE IS 
SUCH  A MOMENT
 Any day now I want to say : it's so
late along in the summer already. The
June-bugs long gone, the locusts of August,
any moment now start. Even the leaves on
the trees look tired already : the bright, brash
first-green of Summer is gone. Now, darker, 
morose, they filter the air and fan for the
moisture their green pulls off. Silently
waiting, already, an end.

9795. RUDIMENTS pt. 30

RUDIMENTS, pt. 30
Making Cars
My father used to race us up
Route One, back when I was 
about 7 or 8, for any of those 
innumerable trips back to Bayonne.
Mostly to visit my grandmother; my
mother's mother. She had a nice, I
thought, little apartment on the first
level of a large, brown house, with 
a porch and all, on Avenue A in
the 20's blocks somewhere. I can
remember it like yesterday; it was
the same house my mother and her
sisters had grown up in. Going back 
there now, I mostly can never even find
it. It's been all redone, twice over, new
siding, that 'porch' area has been now
absorbed into the house itself, new walls
and things. It looks nothing like the old.
too bad, but whatever  -  things like that
happen and, anyway, the guide-map of
Bayonne itself would not bear any real
resemblance to Bayonne of old if placed
side by side. First off, it used to be made
of wood  -  houses, out-buildings, sheds,
shops, etc. That's all gone now, nothing of
wood even remains. Back then, too, there were
oddball things that I sorely miss : like at 33rd,
or 31st, and Broadway, a hardware store, big
time, selling most everything, loose. It had an
open-front area, with overhangs and stuff,
protected, for maybe coal trucks and things to
load from, and the car-port area stretched out
into the street, where there were two glass-globe
gas pumps. Right on the curbing. Posted price 
was maybe 19.99 cents a gallon, serve yourself 
and pay. On the gas pumps, on the top-face, 
there was this cool little glass globe, a view-glass, 
something like a huge marble. As you were 
pumping the gas, the gas flow going through 
it, as a visual evidence that you were flowing
gasoline, this multi-colored marble thing would 
be spinning around. It was fascinating, and I
looked forward to it each time. Funny thing was,
one of my aunts, years later, re-married, and the
guy she married had a tailor and dry-cleaning
shop right across the street form all this. McCarthy
Cleaners, I think was the name. He bought the name
with the business, even though he wasn't any
McCarthy. Back at my grandmother's place, just
a few doors across, there was a small grocer's
place, a candy store, etc. Small sorts of things
abounded, all name after the owner or somesuch:
Marfucci's Meat Market, Hal and Hazel's, a sundry
shop, a cigar store, a barber. Traffic and pavement
was all slow and easy. That's all gone now  -  Bayonne
itself remains a real nowhere; one of those places they
only maybe throw into a Hudson County guidebook as
an afterthought. A lot of it was military  -  armaments,
gas and oil, boats. A lot of Polish names, Italian
names, and Irish too, I guess; the old mix. Germans
and stuff, I don't know about, except that my Uncle 
once showed me, over by where I was born, there
was a Playtex girdle factory or something and for
the duration of the war (WWII) it had been converted
(rubber shortage meant no girdles. I used to think
of women and sex, later  -  'girdle shortage meant no
rubbers.' Yes, senseless, but fun.), into a POW camp
or jail I guess, for captured Germans who'd gotten
apprehended snooping the docks and local military
areas. He said they had maybe 60 or 70 guys in there.
-
Down in the really crap end near where I was born,
just about beneath the Bayonne Bridge, was a Hellman's
Mayonnaise facility. Maybe it was a 'factory', but I
like facility better  -  they used to say each egg was
cracked with care, one at a time, there, on the thighs of
the Spanish ladies who worked inside. I never much got
a clear picture of that one, whatever they meant. Do
they even have eggs in mayonnaise? I never wanted
to get 'mayonnaise malaise' over that question, so I
never thought about it too much. And then I used to
think, too, 'do adults ever say what they really man?'
Having to phrase whatever they were attempting to say
-  tenderness, sexuality, sensuality  -  whatever, about
the Spanish women by doing that whole egg-cracking
scenario, that made some fearsome images in my mind.
As a kid, I mean : talk about a cartoon fraught with
strange and subconscious meanings, had these adults
no idea of the fecundity of a child's imagination? Back
then, everything was so weird, people talked funny,
in roundabout ways, of the most serious and harmful
subjects. It was as if, in 1949, war's overload was still
ripping at all their guts. 
-
Another thing was, Eight Street Station I think it was
called. It was a really vibrant, or should have been
anyway, train depot, right there in town  -  connected
Jersey City, one town away, the Hudson Tubes, NYC,
all that, by train. What they do to it? By the mid/late 50's
they let it rot away and fall to nothing, a useless and
perforated, intermittent-schedule crummy train service
for mail and freight mostly : oil tanks had moved in, the
quaintly urban-small landscape had been torn all apart
for truck roads, oil storage, gas lines, etc. Absolutely
no one, back then, wanted to be caught dead riding a
train. Everything was cars, cars  -  tail fins, fake looks
of speed and streamline, driveways, roads, paving.
The entire idea of trains had fallen away to nothing.
Whatever good they once may have had, they let
it all slip away  -  just like all those little stores.
The influx of supermarkets, cold-storage, frozen
goods, groceries by the half-ton, that all replaced
the small-city graciousness that should have been.
It's all gone now  -  10,000 Hispanics, Mexicans,
indigents, new Arabian entrants, and Indians, and 
10,001 spanking new Dollar Stores. Go figure.





9794. I CAUGHT THAT FEVER

I CAUGHT THAT FEVER
I caught that fever, the one from
Nairobi, and my forehead was
blistered for days. All of June and
most all of July. I thought I would
die. Each time I even thought of
moving, my arms and legs felt like
two-ton bricks, and I was saddled,
as if in concrete and steel. Little
to do but just imagine. The School
For Harmless People  -  again only
trying to do good  -  sent over a
wedding planner with lunch, but
I (at least) managed to turn
him away. I felt that fever
was here to stay.

9793. ENVIRONS ARE ALL OUTSIDE

ENVIRONS ARE ALL OUTSIDE
Just like a post-paste world, we travel on 
and things fall off. The sky holds it place, 
as do the stars, yet all the stories connected 
are gone away. We've somehow come to 
the ends of words and language,
 with little more to say.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

9792. TO THESE RUINS I THEE WED

TO THESE RUINS I THEE WED
Take me as I am, then, I can give
no more. Garlic garden, broken bones,
hellacious lure. I come in the name of
Holy, seeking only a deliverance, at
least, for my own. I offer up this sacrifice.
-
At home. I may not be the last to leave,
but I'll be close before the one who is.

9791. BURLAP

BURLAP
Dad used it for everything  -  always
burlap sacks. Heavy, coarse stuff, a
sort of tan color; rich. There were times,
he'd be out fishing, me with him too, when
I was a simple kid, he'd catch 10, 12 bluefish.
or fluke or flounder (those last two were the
flat fish) and they'd all be chucked into the
burlap sack. To die, I guess. It was so gross
I-to-nearly died. I hated that stuff; it wasn't
abuse back then, but he always dragged me
with him, these stupid fishing trips. 
-
Back to those fluke or founders, the flat fish
I mentioned; there was a weird story with one
of them. I was always told, be it true or not,
that they're born with an eye on each side,
but over time that one eye migrates to the
other side, so by the time of adulthood, the
fish swims flat, with both eyes on one side.
Put that in your sack and smoke it.

9790. RUDIMENTS, PT. 29

RUDIMENTS, pt. 29
(Making Cars)
One of those ancient guys, I forget
who, wrote, 'Live your life as if you
were already dead.' I always lived
mine, in that light, full-tilt boogie
anyway, or as much as I could do 
that with very little money. I really
forget who it was  -  Marcus Aurelius,
in his 'Meditations', or maybe in a book
by Boethius entitled 'the Consolations of
Philosophy.' I used to read that stuff, but,
frankly, back then it made very little
import or sense to me, more just like
drudgery. Round-about 2007, when I
began taking the train each day to 
Princeton, I began re-reading a lot of
that material from years before. It made
better sense, but the problem was the way
some train-madman or another was always
intent on interrupting me. Passengers, or
even conductors. Especially the little, extra
Princeton-shuttle train I had to take to get over
to campus  -  that had a conductor who really
liked to yap. Ideally, in one's head, you think,
'Ah, train time! I'll be able to read and get a
lot done.' No so fast, fellow. You see the same 
people each day, mostly in a commuting
misery, and they each begin thinking they're
your best friend. Or should be. There's always
an obstacle. I asked someone once, at a
gathering (he took a different NY train each
day) how he got around that problem, and he 
said 'just keep your head down, do what you're
doing, and don't look up or make eye contact
with anyone.' Hmmm, yeah, right.
-
So, it's all summed up in 'Living life as if you
were already dead?' That shit's considered 
profound? What's it even mean? Everyone I ever
saw, poor, rich, or in-between, was always
intent on going on, continuing. Had I said, 'live
your life as if you were already dead,' they'd 
have hit me with the nearest bowling ball. It's
more the sort of thing you have no real choice over
and are usually glad for the chance of. Living, I
mean. It's always, seemingly, these deep, weird,
religious guys, Buddhist monk types or whatever,
who get all over the top morose about inaction, 
stillness, being centered, meditation, right thinking, 
good intent, goal-completion, detachment, and all 
the rest. I could never isolate like that, and I admit 
to it. I'm not about to fake my way along by saying 
I achieved some sort of wonderful eastern mysticism 
deep within my non-being by doing and saying all 
those proper things. Hell. no. Like a typical jerk 
human, when I saw something, I reacted; or wanted 
it; or found myself (oh no!) desiring. Why would 
anyone, I used to think, deny the human factor in 
the stuff that they do. It was a young-man's quandary 
for me, for a long time; and the streets of NY City 
anyway were not really any place to try and be 'pure.'
In your own head, that's a different story, and maybe
that's what the saying meant, but that's just as
difficult  -  every other street-corner back then
there was someone or something demanding 
hands-on interaction : someone dying, or throwing 
up or passing out; some bum pulling his pants
down and taking a dump; some drug-addicted
nothing nearly comatose and strung-out to die.
That stuff brings you right back to reality, quickly.
-
There used to be a place up by Riverside Drive, 
or at Riverside Drive, way west, about 72nd street. 
It was, and still is, an interesting series of passages 
and archways and tunnels where the end of Riverside 
Park sort of dips down on itself to get over to Riverside 
Drive, and then the river. Cars are zooming all by 
on the Drive, and these arches and things take you 
beneath it all, and there are a few exit-type ramps
for cars seeking to enter the larger city at the east.
All through the 1970's and into the 80's, it was its
own mini-Calcutta, this place. Lots of homeless
people who'd made their own little spaces and living
quarters, one after another after another  -  cardboard,
wood, planks, carts, fabric, tents, you  name it. It
was a veritable 'city' of the disenfranchised; it
mostly went unmolested and no one interfered with
it, including cops and round-ups. Any real 'crime'
there was when one or another of them killed or
maimed each other  -  stupid drug feuds, thievery,
whatever. Talk about living as if you were already
dead, I knew these people could fill in a lot of the
blanks about that subject. I would occasionally
find myself there (I had friends who lived then
in the west 70's), walking amidst these people;
they were surly, or drugged, violent sometimes
in severe and weird personal ways, but none of it
really had the 'energy' factor to take it outwards,
to others. I was probably as safe as I was in danger.
All the same. (How's that go, 'when you got nothing,
you got nothing to lose? Or, Freedom's just another
way for nothing left to lose.'  -  I always hated those
stupid, proto-musical, playing at intensity, couplets).
Anybody who got me, so to speak, would just get a
dead body, so I was probably, in those terms, perfect.
As were they  -  wiry, dazed, unfocused humanoids,
(each giving Darwin, surely, a run for his money).
Let the dead bury the dead? Yeah man, we were
all ready for our own shovels each.


9789. A COUPLE OF VERSIONS

A COUPLE OF VERSIONS
Everything has its double, like we
needed that  -  alternate realities
everywhere. You were my mother 
once, and I might have been your son,
but that's all over now (baby) blue too.
Nothing runs longer than the thread to
which it's attached : we come to an ending.
Then we get detached. I lived my own life
among the cider-mines and the salt-domes
of the high, dry plains. You didn't know me
then but I wouldn't complain. Like Bob Dylan
once said, uptown in the east 60's, in 1967,
when he was asked why no one reconized him 
there : 'They don't know me downtown, why
would they know me uptown?' Pretty damn cool

9788. ST. DISMAS HAS A BROKEN HAND

ST. DISMAS HAS 
A BROKEN HAND
I was in Brooklyn, having just had chowder
in old Red Hook. Maybe it was just Dismas St.
Who knows? They had a few cars parked around,
and not far off the old waterfront one or two boat
rocked back and forth. Maritime Museum, some
old fireboat. At the wharf there was a bar.
What else is new?

9787. MY HEADLINE IS A DOUBTING MINUTE

MY HEADLINE IS 
A DOUBTING MINUTE
Somehow I made it to Coconut Grove. The
Smothers Brothers were there; the skinny one
was pretty drunk, or so it seemed to me. This
was a long time ago  -  I sat down to just look
around, and the waiter brought a tray. Right away,
I thought of Procol Harum, and that crazy song
of theirs, but then I confused that one with the
one about the cake melting in the rain. MacArthur 
Park is melting in the dark all the sweet green
icing running down...What the hell was that about?
My mind started running circles around the idea
of temporality and my own very presence. If I sat
here like this, I wondered, could I still be seen
somewhere else? If so, like the physicist guy had
been telling me, wouldn't that wreak havoc with
the legal profession and  -  pretty much  -  do away
with the need for any alibi. 'Well, yeah, I was there,
but I was also there, so who you gonna' believe?
The judge just pounded his gavel and said, 'Please!'


9786. RUDIMENTS, pt. 28

RUDIMENTS, pt. 28
(Making cars)
Nowadays, oh though I try, I just feel
that everything has gone to decadence,
to a real sorrowful waste of time. The
only way I seem to have of recouping
my own sense and sensibility  -  other
than my quite very small circle of
on-hand friends, which is perfectly OK
by me  -  is with my tending to get lost,
and I mean way-lost -  in my own writings,
harangues, and, in general, work. Which I
do, steadily and in quiet. It's fifty years
right now since I lit out from home, for
that final time. New York City bound. That
almost sounds like a historical era, a span
of time to be marked. With something. But
I don't know what, except perhaps a 
gravestone. That'll come soon enough, 
so no matter on that account. What I
regret the most is the loss of that old world
I lived in. It was so soon gone, and certainly
fifty years ago I had no inkling how swiftly
the world I was then inhabiting would be 
transformed. Believe you me, that version
of New York City is long ago gone away.
-
When I was in the seminary years, what little I
got of New York City was through the newspapers
and magazines I voraciously read. Fortunately,
for what little else good came of it, the seminary
library was a homey enough place, with a nice
circle of armchairs around a central magazine
and newspaper area, off to one side, right there.
Of course, the reading material there was strictly
controlled, no 'Ramparts' or radical reviews.
The most rambunctious thing there was usually
a catholic 'activist' weekly, from the radical left
of Catholic-worker priest stuff, maybe; and then
Commonweal, another one of those, more 
middle-brow. But I managed a personal subscription
as well, to some Washington DC weekly that was
out in those years (gone now) called the 'National
Observer.' It covered national politics and was extra
heavy on, what I thought of as, good cultural and
social kid of reporting, NYC and the elites, art and
the world. It came to me each week, at mail call,
and no one ever said anything about it. It was a
well-needed crutch for me anyway because mail
call was pretty lonesome for me. I forget exactly,
but they'd call out names for mail that had arrived.
Some kids got like almost daily letters and stuff.
Little packages of candies and junk. I never much
got anything, and it was always fairly lonely to
just figure your name, my name, wasn't going to
be called amidst all that glee. So, at least getting
that weekly subscription paper kept me going.
I learned a lot of stuff from it, Mayor Wagner,
Mayor Lindsay, a lot of weird NYC news and 
events. Well, I guess, I had to do something.
-
One of my friends was a guy named Leo Benjamin,
from somewhere in Maine. He was pretty cool,
sloppy and dirty, and a real yapper, but I always
enjoyed being around him. Then one day he was
just gone. (People would 'leave' like that, sometimes).
I don't know how people lived up in Maine back
then, but this Leo fellow was already very well-versed
in sex and all the workings of it, and girls. Go figure.
There used to be this beautiful green hillside we'd
walk (yeah, it's all condos and built upon now) and
it always reminded me, in its biblical way, of one of
those isolated places in the 'holy land' we'd always
read about, where Jesus walked with his disciples,
the olive trees, bent-over junipers and all that. Anyway,
from picture I'd seen. Gethsemane and all. Real
peaceful and holy and serene. One day stupid Leo
ruined it all for me. Jabbering on and on about
girls he'd known, the jerk takes me to a little
hillside rise with some sort of wooden cover or
something in the ground under some trees. He
pulls up the cover and shows me where the
'upperclassmen' (we called them that, as we
were just first year guys) kept this huge stash 
of porno magazines, protected and dry. It was
unbelievable and I kid you not. That was one
day that really destroyed my visions of any
hillside seminary biblical romanticism. A
bunch of juniors and seniors, wanking. I don't
know where Leo Benjamin may be these days,
but I'd sure like to thank him for that, and a
few other things too.
-
The best thing about the seminary, actually, outside 
of all my cool drama department plays and theater
work, was that after they did finally boot me out I
never had to pay for it. Or my parents anyway. The
deal was (it was maybe 800 bucks a year, back then),
once you got passed through and graduated and all,
the Diocese of Trenton, or your 'home' diocese, would
pay for it all. But if you didn't finish, YOU were liable.
Except in my case the debt was forgiven if I would
just please go home for a Thanksgiving break and
consider not returning. Which dis-invitation I
surely understood and took advantage off. Never
did get to go through that stash of magazines.
Hey, they used to say, 'sex is holy,' even if
you were married to your hand, I guess.
Boy, I did love the Catholic Church.
-
Eventually I got all that run right out of my system.
It's funny, when you leave a smug place like that,
you just as quickly forget about it, or I did anyway.
Without even looking back. What the hell was I
thinking anyway.
-
I always took pride, still do, in controlling myself.
These Catholic people though, and all their
enforced codes and edicts, they said one thing
and did another. They were always preaching
self control at us, but they never mentioned that their
intention was to control 'our' selfs. I can harbor only
the smallest respect for custodians of nothing,
for twisted old guys taking advantage of young
guys. It brings you to situations where a bunch
of boys wind up burying magazines in a wooden
field chest somewhere. So, anyway, it wasn't but
two years later that I couldn't hardly remember a 
thing about that place and never thought about
boys one bit.  Whatever kind of deliverance and
salvation can that be? I know they said all men
shall rise again, but what were they really saying?

Saturday, July 29, 2017

9785. TENDENCY

TENDENCY
'We have a tendency to die, to lose hair,
to sag and to droop. Does everyone now
understand that? All you vivacious ladies
worth a wow or two, it doesn't last forever,
so do what you must do. Make that proverbial
hay while the proverbial sun shines, okay?
-
Eugene O'Neil wrote 'The Iceman Cometh.'
The rest of this mystery, I leave to you.

9784. LULU, BUDGETING

LULU, BUDGETING
This is how it's got to be. I had
a guy once, a boss, and every time
the axe had to fall, or something
crummy had to happen  - a printer
fired, a cutter let go, a bindery person
laid off, he'd always blame the accountant.
It was funny, that bit. The only time the
named accountant had any say in the
business was when he was being used
as the excuse for bad news. When times
were flush, and they were all off running
to the bank, that accountant had no hand
at all in the business. I never wanted to
be like that, be that kind of person,be 
a boss at all. Certainly none of that was
in my cards anyway. But there are some
people who can really weave a story, as
needed, and when it's needed too.
-
I kept waiting to hear :
'Uh, my accountant says you
can't park here anymore.'

Friday, July 28, 2017

9783. RUDIMENTS, pt. 27

RUDIMENTS, pt. 27
(Making Cars)
Another thing about Vermont  -   back
then it was almost another country. A real
enclave, where a person really could just
dissemble and go back to the Earth. Deep,
lush woods, pine forests, running and gurgling
waters. Shacks and cabins. One time, nearly
in the middle of the night, (this time was
Summer), in the way-out middle of nowhere,
I got stopped for a seemingly ten-mile long
freight train just rumbling along. I shut the car
off, and simply got out, to wait. This trainman
guy, with a lantern and the whole bit, comes
slowly walking over to me. I was going to
be real friendly and all, just talk and go with
the flow, and instead of talking right off, he
puts his hand or fingers to his neck, or something
there, and out comes this weird, metallic, robotic
voice! I freaked! I'd never heard that before and
was completely taken aback  -  deep, dark night,
train rumbling by, this weird guy with a lantern,
high atop somewhere some fountain in the wilds
of Vermont. He made the softball-dent-forehead
hotel guy seem normal! As it turned out, some
sort of operation or throat cancer or other illness
had  caused him to lose his voicebox or his larynx,
and they'd fitted him instead with this electronic
voice monitor set-up. Sure was weird. (I never get
these medical things straight very much, and just
hope none of that ever sticks to me. I want, thank
you, my own medical-free death. But, yeah,
I want to be late for it too.
-
There were any number of other cool places there.
Lake Bommoseen, I think it was called. That was
a fairly nifty hangout. Lose and hippie-ish, free
and easy. And then there was, besides Rutland,
these towns, or places anyway (they weren't
much of anything)  called, as I recall, Florence,
and Proctor. Proctor had the Proctor Marble Works.
It was very cool  -  basically a marble-mine, there'd
be these huge slabs of dug-out marble. They'd, I
guess, rip off the first 3 feet or so of earth and soil
on the mountains they mined (pretty terrible actually),
and like a quarry does with rock and stone, they'd
have exposed these mountains of marble  -  talk
about infrastructure. The Earth is a winder like
that. Underneath everything are all these different
rocks, minerals, slabs of granite and marble,
gems and the rest, all depending on location.
This Proctor, Vermont place was smack-dab
atop some massive natural formation of
marble. Someone must have figured it all
out, years and years before. They'd expose it,
cut these huge slabs, and sculptors and
architects and builders, etc., would order, by
the tens of tons, marble for their work. Churches
and post offices, memorials and statues,etc. It
would all, eventually, piece by piece and slab
by slab, get trucked out to whatever the destination
was. Maybe some of it was even on that weird
guy's freight train, going out.
-
It got to be fairly funny to me, and a mental
exercise too, realizing the quite paradoxical
nature of all this. One of the more pristine places
around (Vermont countryside) riddled with the
presence of one of the more brutal forms of
extricating sub-surface, commercial, profitability.
Kind of, also, at the expense of anything Edenic.
Jeez, the way they treated it all it might as well
have been Bayonne. All these crazy hippies bopping
around, all the rich super-hipsters at places like
Bennington College (back then, I think, a real
babe joint), thinking they were re-living their
own Adan and Eve pastoral opera, while the
reality was that 'what they didn't see couldn't
hurt them.' Or wouldn't. The town of, half-baked
city of, Rutland, something like a glorified little
Newark or Plainfield (to my experience), just
sat there as a business center for the accounting
and banking of all this. The local marble-millionaires
lived on the hills. It had slums. I got hired there, by
some printer in Rutland, Tuttle Press, or Tuttle
Printing, but, stupidly but typical I never showed
up for the first day of the job and just blew it all off.
I figured it was just another trap calling my name.
Tuttle Company is still around  -  book publishers
now  -  and they've moved Rutland itself out to
some Rutland Airport Industrial Park. So typical.
Good-bye Eden, for sure.