8073. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW (#32)

32. SOAP

The great round world is a

fervently roiling mass of swirling

possibilities and changes and all

the contradictions that go with that.

There is nothing rational or sedate

or steady-line flat about it. The

swirl must be embraced, taken in,

swarmed and cradled. That is

really what living is  -  the

scientific nothingness of the

movement and struggle of a

constant and always underway

creation. That too is the horror now

to which Science and all its once-

rational endeavors have brought us

to. All those physicists and science

and mathematics types, who have

brought us to this point now of

many civilizations, parading

as one, with all their discoveries

and wonders of the world both

within and without  - they have

come to the fiery precipice (which

most still refuse to cross and plunge

into) that there is, simply put,

NOTHING at all  -  no solidity

upon which to get footing, no real

matter that is Matter at all. Things

are movement, at all times in flux,

swirling, taking on identities,

crossing places and blending. There

and not there. Illusionary factors

on some weirdly magic-carpet sort

of a projected ride we all assume

each other to be part of, first assuming

there are 'others', and then stupidly

prescribing the course and projected

Reality of everyone else. That's all

flat-land stuff, and it's all wrong.

Heads bobbing to hymns and

dictates.

-

I've never been able, really, to

reconcile,these two varied sides 

to Life. Never knowing which 

we are, at core. All that stuff's

always been hard for me to 

discern and distinguish between.

You know how it's been said, 

like how a man wants to be the

strongest 'man' in a room, but a

woman wants to be the only 

woman in that room. How like

being a woman is like acting  -  

you're constantly 'on', playing 

a character and a role. Putting on

a face or a persona. I never knew

about any of that, and it seems

that they both work just as well in

the other direction, and there's

probably no difference anyway. 

It's all that clog-headed stuff that

makes these distinctions, mostly

so that one or another party can get

over on the other  -  money, factions,

politics, and all. Sylvia Plath, in 

talking about Physics  -  all that 

work of destroying concepts and 

disproving worlds, as it gets 

summed up in equations and 

the like, she put it : "Physics made

me sick the whole time I learned

it. What I couldn't stand was this

shrinking everything...hideous, 

cramped, scorpion-lettered

formulas." I always felt the 

same way, and even moreso 

was I perplexed by the idea, the

same idea she'd put forth, as to

how a 'Physicist' with the 

revolutionary mindset of an

Earth-shattering line of concepts

about Life and Reality, still has 

to hew to the rote fundamentals, 

and the equations, to get across,

in a provable and rational fashion,

the shattering things he or she 

gets to. Almost as if they should

be apologetic instead. But they 

turn back to this ideal and rational 

presentation of hypothesis, 

summation, cryptography, theory

and formula, to make it all work.

It's a real conundrum  -  one that

I always measured as 'the rationalist

has a shoulder blade; the romantic

a hunched back.'

-

In light of William Blake, my own 

life has included irrationality. One 

time when visitors came to their 

house, in Felpham Manor, the 

years not spent in London. There 

was no soap found in the house, 

sinks, bathroom, anywhere, and 

a guest made mention of it and 

asked where it was or why there 

was no soap, and Catherine (Mrs.

Blake), replied : "Mr. Blake's

skin don't dirt." That's always

probably been my favorite quote.
And this : "Formulas, equations, 
and mathematics are to physics 
what poetry is to prose : the irreducible
distillation of actuality into chords
that resonate with human sensibilities."
I think that's pretty much saying 
where it is I've always been, or
felt to be anyway. The poetry part.