1009. THE SUICIDE GIFT (Reverie)

THE SUICIDE GIFT
(Reverie)
The man is writing his sixteenth note,
and this time - (he says) - it is complete
and final. 'The recognition of things,
the lucid recognition, is important to me.
Happiness is an escape from time, human
time, either through a life after death, or
before death - perhaps - through an
experience of spiritual communion, love,
or aesthetic transport. A third way,
mythology attests, is to die and
come back to life. This is the meaning,
in the western world, of the descent
to the underworld - from
Iannana to Dante both.'
-
But you can't come back from that.
Creation from 'Nothing' is bunk, at
least, after the first. Only one chance,
and I've found (oh, myself) that the
corridors of time are filled with echoes
and memory; and maybe I like to go there.
-
I see no one else with a hand in this
morning's pink light on the tall, green trees.
And, if I did, my own grand darkness
would narrow my choices. I sit
in this chair, doing nothing. Knowing
it all, backwards. I hardly have to
move. Move along. Get.
Get along. Little doggie.
Get along. And, so, again,
I wonder. to myself, is
that a reverie?