Wednesday, July 22, 2015

6926. BITCHIN' MATA HARI

BITCHIN' MATA HARI
Amazing how we killed the wartime stories and
the wartime people too. Mata Hari was a spy!
Execute her was the cry! Ah, yes, the firing squad.
Those French always did know the difference between
grace and coup de grace. Downtown, the girdle gown
was saved in a Paris museum. I think she represented
sexuality and an erotic flair in far too much a fashion,
after all World War I really had everyone on edge.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

6925. DRAWING WATER, ALL I CARRY IS GRIEF

DRAWING WATER, ALL 
I CARRY IS GRIEF
I have here the entablature of Hell, a true and
circumstantial realm. Look at my hands, they are
all worn out. That's not a henna tattoo, you fool
it's paint. There are two things you can give me
sometime or other, as a gift, OK? Time, and space.
If you don't mind. I want to spread out. (Oh give me
land, lots of land, 'neath the starry skies above; don't
fence me in...). Well, that wasn't me, no, but it's a
song from a long time ago, when land was still free.
-
I can't shout about things any longer; having lost both
my enthusiasm and my voice. My eyesight is shot; I
have ten pound glasses needed to see. The cheery lane
I lived upon is now a superhighway filled with people
driving their cars on their own ways to hell. Sartre said
 'No Exit'. He was right, and he also said,
'Hell is other people.' Yeah.
-
No pizazz in my Kool-Aid doubt, no sideshow in my
limousine. The carny cut the cards, and now he's living
like a King. I am broad-shouldered, but all I carry is grief.

6924. TROUBLESOME PANGS

TROUBLESOME PANGS
The two things I ever get are sad or angry, one or the
other each. The basted-roast that is this life is deadly
to me. Fires on the hilltop, animals running. Everything
I knew to be, was wrong. Here, in the midst now of rubble,
I stand like a bad tree, just waiting for some jerk's axe.
-
The river is running red with something  -  not as dark
as blood, though it smells the same. Some Italian voice
is coming down the ledge, up above, someone singing.
You know those Italian aria male voices  -  too jittery 
and too high to be sound at all. I dislike all that, yet
here it comes right at me. God I hate opera.
-
It takes me a good three hours to walk this hill, all the
way to the top, and then back down. Up there, I look 
around. Rows and miles of things  -  the snaking river, 
and those funny islands with their flood-bent trees. No
one lives on any of them, though I wish I did. Like having
a driveway of water and nothing more  -  over which no 
one could ever pass. Over which no one could ever pass.


6923. MY FAMILY ALL GOTS CHILBLAINS

MY FAMILY ALL GOTS CHILBLAINS
And the spider has the corner and the mouse has
the house. Lights on in the evening don't mean nothing
at all. Every peg has a hat on it already, and the glove
drawer is full. Good God almighty, where that's fever
potion? Everyone's running around failing and sick.
If I had a way of mainlining money to help, yeah, I'd
be an addict for sure  -  but as it is, my veins are all
collapsed, and the needles are all lost as well. Hey, 
get me a buttered roll, okay? Tomorrows the Tuesday 
before  the Wednesday before the eighth. Isn't that the
day the clinic said they were sending the doctor?

6922. IDLE TIME

IDLE TIME
I've been making coffee with my one-eyed sneer,
the girl, she said she'd follow me home  - but she
never showed. Dammit, again. Here I am alone.
The dark, black enamel on that kettel I pushed
over has a chip on it now like a flake. Couldn't 
hold its own against a harder force  -  same 
condition I find myself in. Damn again. 
Here the lamplight can shield my head. 
I'll sit, and pretend to be reading.

6921. ON-LINE CERTIFICATION AND TRINI LOPEZ TOO

ON-LINE CERTIFICATION 
AND TRINI LOPEZ TOO
Right now all the gories are telling their stories.
Thay say Bruce played in Asbury just the other night  -  
the usual happy talk  -  jumped on stage with the guys 
who were playing, and slayed they the barroom crowd.
Always sound so neat and pat  -  like it really happens, 
sure. The only thing I'm sure of is it's planned out, like
twenty days before. Let no man take you for a fool.
-
When I first knew him, he had a bum leg and a funny
fat lip. Brawling with the beasties and the fortune-teller's
lair : couldn't get anything right, hung around sulking.
-
No, the conditional affirmation of the overwhelming guile
in the national mind has placed him at that pedestal peak
like a Dylan or Lennon too. Can do no wrong; can't live
it down, and fame here has no blemish at all. But they're
all cantankerous to some extent. They want what they
have and they want it kept spotless. 
Now let me jump on stage.

6920. THE TRENCHANT CATATONIC

THE TRENCHANT CATATONIC
But damn him! He was trying to walk home, and 
in that state  no less. Carrying a cup of tea, with that
little, stupid string hanging out, he was spilling it
everywhere  -  like some Night of the Living Dead
re-run on Channel Lipton. Yes, that dumb.
-
Butterflies and weasels together, even they know
better  -  don't move when you're a drunken stooge.

Monday, July 20, 2015

6919. I NEVER DO ANYTHING, BUT I CAN NEVER CATCH UP

I NEVER DO ANYTHING, 
BUT I CAN NEVER CATCH UP
I fed the lawn while the dog was sleeping,
and the dog ate her food while I was sleeping.
Just goes to show the parallel affinities we share
with each other. She barks near the tree; I touch
the tree bark. Then you wonder why Christopher
Columbus couldn't find this place? 

6918. INTERGENERATIONAL GENDER CRISIS

INTERGENERATIONAL 
GENDER CRISIS
(near ames, iowa)
I can't eat anything anymore. Ten million chickens
a month, fed on diets of feather meal and cattle brains,
unable to move, in festered confines of chicken cells.
It's no wonder I don't know who I am. Cancer rates
among poultry workers are abnormally high, and
chicken diseases are rampant. Want fries with that?
-
Oh all you meat and potato men, let me watch you
gut-shoot a deer and then process it for food. Please
let me watch. Potato farmers in Iowa like killing
things they call game-meat, and they defend
by saying 'at least we eat it.' Look out the
back-barn door, there's another one.
-
'That bullet in your rifle, young man, it does not opt you
out of an insane system  -  your neo-hunter-gathering
 -  it only puts you deeper in.' That's what the guy with
the clipboard said taking the survey about vegetarian 
living. They laughed his fat ass out of the mall.
-
One kid there, I thought he was a guy but he thought he
was a girl and it turned out he was a girl who wanted to be
a guy and I figured sure anyway, everyone's got to eat.
They're funny like that in these faraway places, and
funny like that too on these strange farmland scenes.

6917. TYRRANUS

TYRRANUS
Moves among the darkness, hits.
Steps between the bricks. Goes in
silence running off; makes management
of this. A true, grand misalignment.
-
Three clutterbugs sitting outside the market;
old and wiry, they just stare. Their small
hands hold their personal bags. Not a word.
-
In containment, Evil lurks. Ships in the
harbor, the Bayonne light, the sluice of
cable from off a bridge. Small cars seem
always passing  -   filled with Hispanics.
How can that be? And where are we?
-
I used to live here, where once the La Tourette
mansion stood. Massive infusions of goodwill
and money : together, today, too lethal to stay.

6916. NOW MANTACKLE

NOW MANTACKLE
All of those things both worthy to dread and
not, the history of liaisons and destiny, the
storied markers of people who passed  -  make
me nothing but confused. My own ways are
less winning, and my father spoke a foreign 
tongue with a mouthful of tacks. I was forced
to listen. It doesn't frighten me that I expect 
people to die : suicide and subdivision, all the
same to me. Live like a pirate and die like a 
bum. Oh just run it on over the roaring sea.
-
Once there were men in the wine-dark sea.
They cried for each other; they cried for me.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

6915. SO MANY DREADFALLEN MASTERS

SO MANY 
DREADFALLEN MASTERS
All that has ever been has been masters by squires
and courted by the hands of liars in deceit. What
other way is there to keep us down? Borders, lines
and towns and Time. The very essence of such 
designations are false, and they only lead to 
opportunities for the others to take advantage 
of us. Rise  up, then, rubble-men, 
and take this sword I offer.

6914. IN THE REVERSE LIBRARY

IN THE 
REVERSE LIBRARY
I read the cover from book to book;
that first chapter was a real letdown.

6913. THE WALL BETWEEN MY EYES

THE WALL BETWEEN MY EYES
Well, the wall between my eyes is what keeps out
debris : the Walpurgis Night of filth I don't want.
The corners are already stacked with dead marble; 
cuttings into stone and scratches on land.
-
I roam from town to town like a disturbance  -  people
talk to me, yes, but no one understands. If I said I was
a killer on the loose, would then they stop and listen?
Here, let me sit and try this with you. 
-
My appointment could not be at a worse time : right
 in the middle of nothing. How will I ever keep it?

6912. HAVING BEEN SELECTED

HAVING BEEN SELECTED
The oak tree there is still singing the blues;
some druid scoundrel is trimming limbs, another
enchanting this ancient forest. There is no more.
My own love is a liar whose emotions run cold.
Everyone stands around claiming this is religion.
-
'When Bob McNamara ran this war, at least we knew
what we were doing: sure, there were daily body counts,
but it gave us a sense of progress too, seeing all that
all the time. You would turn on some 1967 TV, and 
just watch the dead heads roll by, names and numbers
and places, while you knew somewhere their mothers
cringed. War is hell, I've heard some asshole said.'
-
Can anyone here imagine that I've been alive ten 
thousand years and more, and that there's not really 
any Time anyway - and I can tell you, having seen it 
from both sides. I am the adventure I live, I make 
what I have. I have all that I experience, and my 
experience affords me the roiling strength to make 
more. Don't those slick bastards ever understand  -  
all that we are, we make it be, constantly.
-
There's just no place to be aloof.
I don't react; others react to me.

6911. MOSTLY

MOSTLY
Mostly, you just buy what you need : 
the day the vacuum broke, the morning
the coffee-maker stopped working. I can't
fiddle with those things, I just keep moving
on  -  buy another for twenty cents. I hate the
plastics, I hate the sense of screws stripping
and wires that bulge. Things are just things.
Can't be bothered. Can't indulge.
-
This is a world of objects, I've been told, and
I can see  -  soon they'll be objects with minds
that think, a drone to deliver the scold.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

6910. THE SWARMING AT MONTEFIORE

THE SWARMING 
AT MONTEFIORE
Headhunters and the quintessential college deans
were sure to be coming together : wearing masks
to disengage each other. 'Let's meet in New Hope,' 
one said, 'it's a really nice place.' The man from
Indiana had a metropolitan guidebook and asked,
'Is it in here?' No one answered  -  the gargantuan
creeps who made up the pilgrimage were all Summer-off
teachers looking for something to do. 'Mecca for me is
a beer, thanks all the same.' Everyone tried laughing
as they looked at each other to see who was.

6910. COOKED TWICE OVER ALREADY

COOKED TWICE 
OVER ALREADY
Well, Hell, I ate it, and it tasted good  -  it had 
been cooked twice over already; sort of a leftover
of a leftover, 5 days old. Kept cold. I didn't want
a metal taste, nor a spinach gabardine, the kind
of colicky ozone that makes me gag. I've known
bad food before. I took it in, and it went down.
Now just as long as it doesn't come up.

6909. I LOVE THE LOOSENESS

I LOVE THE LOOSENESS
I love the looseness of the land over skin, the
feeling of the water running on legs, the graceful
arc of some egret coming in. There's a silence, 
vast and wide and profound, that I can find
in the middle of even all this noise.

6908. I CANNOT PLACE THE RAIN

I CANNOT PLACE 
THE RAIN
Ladies folding towels in the sun, 
and the sky clouds up, and sprinkles 
begin. They grab their things, and run.

6907. MY HEART GOES ON

MY HEART GOES ON
The day I left for Cuba was the same day I
took that wheelchair home : my face was still
hurting from the beating I took. Cops and
robbers was a game, though this was real as 
shit. And I'd sworn I'd leave this land.
-
As quick as I could I did  -  why stay in a place
with no angels? Blue sea and bluer sky; they make 
nothing here and they only crops they grow they use.
I'm happy I got to Cuba  -  all the stories they say
about the place are wrong, but they keep more
from coming. OK with me, I kind of like solitary.
-
This is a lock-down you see. And what's the 
difference in what they're calling? How's a lock-up 
different from a lock-down? Either way you 
can't get out, you're there to stay.

6906. HELP ME FEED THE JOYCE BROTHERS

HELP ME FEED 
THE JOYCE BROTHERS
It's way too late for anything good, though I'm sitting
up watching anyway : time is a fugitive here, running
between the midnight stars - a flash of a planet, and a
half-moon sinking. What else is there to choose from?
This morning I was in a different world : workmen coaxing 
in doorways, their crazy Carhartts and their buttered rolls and
coffee. They sing loud and talk loud too. Looking out to
whistle at things; yet in the end it's all the same  -  they too
end up staring at phone-message screens.
-
A hydraulic lift somewhere carries twelve pieces of wallboard
up the side of going-up building. I watch, as bored as a snake in
a patch of willow. Even if it fell and crushed ten people, I don't
think I'd care. No matter to me, these creeps who fail at trying
and try at failing too. Let the moment pass and move along.
-
That was then and this is now  -  like they say. Who then am 
I to mooch another moment off a man who has none left? These 
guys get paid to stand around, between momentary jobs on a 
momentary job. I get paid nothing but to be  -  look up at the 
moon right now, steady and as permanent as all can be. There's 
no discussing that. It leaves, and then it's back. Starlight is 
the ghost of the cosmos, that distant dust of which we're 
made : Momentary jobs on a momentary job.

Friday, July 17, 2015

6905. HEAVING THE BARCAROLE

HEAVING THE BARCAROLE
It doesn't take much to be an incendiary  -  all
that's needed is a box of matches and a sense of
beauty. Bomb-thrower's motto, or something. Of
the sort a tattoo person would have on their back.
I'm walking the seacoast just thinking about thinks;
there's a Geico blimp floating overhead, like any
jerk would be. I don't wish to see it, but it's following
me. There's a place for everything  -  two girls by the
side of the road  -  both in bathing regalia. Shouldn't
be allowed, really. Get down to the God-damned water
or get dressed. Another bon mote that came to me walking:
'Only the insane take themselves quite seriously."
Oh brother, I'm in trouble now.

6904. LOGJAM IN VERBOVILLE

LOGJAM IN VERBOVILLE
Aren't all those girls so pretty? I'd love to
have me one. I want to settle down and
just share a footstool or something with
them. My heart is in the bicycle shed, and 
theirs are so far away. If I wasn't out of
wine, I'd offer you some  -  well, I have
this cruddy white, but I never drink that
stuff. They say its good if cold, and this
is cold already. More than that though,
speaking of wine, I love the way that
girls (again) drink red white through a
straw or not at all  -  so as to protect
the whitness of their teeth. Ain't that
the craziest trait, like sucking blueberry
pie through a strainer for 
the very same reason.

6903. HEY MISTAH

HEY MISTAH
Hey Mistah! One foot is off that pedestal,
or didn't you know. And you're probably
about to fall. And your glass eye to break.
And you poor head to smash. I'm thinking
you'd better just walking straight over to
that guillotine the prisoners are building.
You sent them here, remember, vain idol
you  -  and now they're out for revenge.

6902. PEDDLING WHEATENA

PEDDLING WHEATENA
Once you die, will you remember being
[a] Human? If not, what's the use of anything
then  -  morals, responsibility and the rest?
If yes, then why can you not remember having
been other things before this? I can't for the
life of me figure this out  -  is just pure, dull
Mystery in fact the meaning of this life?

6901. WHEN DEATH COMES

WHEN DEATH COMES
Don't say anything  -  by that time it's too
late anyway. Plus you can't stick around
for an answer, so what's the use?

Thursday, July 16, 2015

6900. THINGS THAT GET DONE

THINGS THAT GET DONE
How is the Nelson who stands at the Observatory
any different than me? And what makes him so, then,
if he is? I wonder this question  -  my very last one,
I swear  -  while running off with his telescope keys.
I'll teach that bastard to look at the stars.
-
Never once, even as a kid, have I played dominoes.
I hate those little dotted blocks, and the way they stand
on edge, and the way those people who do that make
hundreds of them fall in a row after being arrayed.
Perfectly. Like monstrous damned good sense.
-
Ah, a logical, sequential mind really sets me off.
I hate the bells and whistles, I hate that reptilian core
that can  rationalize all brain matter into rank and
number and detail and duty. I can't be told to owe 
allegiance to any other things. They can shove it all.
-
My Master is a martial-arts creation, a God who made up
all these things, then pressed a random-hit-sequence, and
simply walked away. 'You're on your own, mother-fuckers,'
was the last thing this God was heard to say.

6899. BLUE STIFF

BLUE STIFF
The wind is hollow as it blows through
Cleveland  -  the people there do not seem
to know their hour nor their place. The old
rubber factory is shuttered, and a few lost
and vacant cars are leaning around. 'We can
give those wheels air,' the locals say, 'but we
can't make them stay.' I guess it's like 
that lonely everywhere here.

6898. MY DISPLACEMENT

MY DISPLACEMENT
 Hot and heavy are some of these days, 
and my displacement is growing  -  upon
unsettled water, the boat plops the surface 
and pushes other water aside. What is it I 
am to do? Though it was dark, I look up and 
it's light  -  things change while I'm sorely
preoccupied here. How spinning is this spinning
world we live on? How is it I do not feel a thing?

6897. TO TELL YOU

TO TELL YOU
I awoke early to tell you  -  if you do not
trust me  -  that all is well and steady, and
will hold. I've built it not once, but twice.
First I built it in place, to be sure it would 
all mesh and fit, and then I dismantled all,
for finishing, and reconstructed it all tight
and fitted, again. Believe me, it works, and 
it won't go anywhere but solid. In the same 
manner, let me mention, it's kind of how 
I've built my life  -  some call it maybe trial 
and error, others hit or miss. I call it safe not 
sorry and better for the being strong and right.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

6896. ALL OR NOTHING

ALL OR NOTHING
For me, it's all or nothing, and so has always
been. I only dove for the deepest ends of whatever
pool I was in. Thinking that was safer anyway, than 
the clunk on the head from the shallow, I'd somehow
forgotten the wildebeast sharks that follow.

6895. LIFE ON CHESTNUT HILL

LIFE ON CHESTNUT HILL
My life on Chestnut Hill is running down.
I have spent it so imbued with Death, or dying 
anyway, that now I've lost all track of time.
I wander homeless. I seek the shapes and forms
of things that do not really exist at all; a shadow
of a vapor, a form, elongated by the sunlight
making it tall. The dark and the light of Life,
both have smacked me hard, and over, and over.
My life on Chestnut Hill, the same, is done.
And there is little more that I can do about it.

6894. HIGH ON THIS ISLAND

HIGH ON THIS ISLAND
High on this island of love, I am in slithers over
the form of you  -  there are things showering down
on me right now from some other Heaven above.
I do not know the name nor the place, and, like
that watchman with his lantern, I will be always
at the ready. Knowing not the minute nor the hour
has never really been this much fun. I love your
paisley chuckle, I love your flowered groin.

6893. TACTICS IN A BAG

TACTICS IN A BAG
Just like a doctor, tactics in a bag and a wage-earner's
goal to go. This isn't tic-tac, this is tactics. So open
up your mouth again and say aaah, or say nothing.
My purple Buick is parked out front of the dispensary,
where the nurses are waiting, tied down with pills.
-
North past the bridge to Haverstraw, I saw the flaming
creature on the run : it was big, and brown, and looked
like a cross between a cross and a deer. Someone in the
diner told me that if I'd really seen it I would know,
it would be like a religious experience. I guess.
-
Right now, I'm genuflecting to flies and fleas alike.
My last address is lost in the book, and my future
is open to any suggestions. I may seem sluggish,
yes, but I am fast and earnest too. I keep
my tactics in a bag.

6892. RUSSIA

RUSSIA
My white hands haunt the ancient cold.
Icons to the stars, gold-gilted virgins, held
in rare esteem, astound the empty walls.

Cold smokestacks puff from cabins in the
snow. Short paths detect the horrid wastes
of ice below. The workers sort, in wool,
their Winter source.

Red Army dozes, soft-to-snooze, asleep
across the vast white waste  -  iced over
far to Asia's strange expanse. Europe
short averts its eyes and wanders.
White hands haunt the ancient cold.

Fingers tap the spittle from the broom.
Small fires boil soup upon the stoves.
The horses, pawing, seek another Spring.
All quiet, Russia bows.

The soul too easy slumbers in a quick
December nap, as balalaikas tumble from
a daze, determined to be heard above the
present roar. Cold steel snaps. Dreamed
swords of hollow armor clink.

Moscow slithers in its slink of winter snow. 
White hands haunt the ancient cold.
The prisoners bow, and sulk, and go.

6891. THE SOFT MATTER OF HARD CHOICES

THE SOFT MATTER 
OF HARD CHOICES
We have been determined already : like a John Calvin 
songbook in a dainty mid-woods chapel, these awkward
people are singing. They speak of the righteous few and
the chosen. Oh, OK. I may have heard that tune before.
-
It gets people nowhere to stage their own deliverance;
brings them to a branch on a dead-end tree, on with 
no escape and no fruit either. Just standing there, 
convinced. Down for the count : let's enumerate, it 
was sure a big number, or doesn't anyone else recall? 
The tent is now pitched in the street  -  long Civil War 
battles that take place in full view of the aggrieved, 
yet only the participants understand the mash : the 
small cannonball, the musket-shot spray to the face.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

6890. THIS WAS THE BALLROOM

THIS WAS THE BALLROOM
Far too far, back in the time of other days,
when people still talked, and big bands played,
I want to say maybe this was the place you might
have been. Had you been at all. There was a
smothering light on the lantern shed, and all
around that people would gather  -  especially
on free nights, when no air-raid siren had
sounded and the lights could stay on. This
whole field sometimes was dance : three
hundred people, I'd bet, swirling and
twirling in glee. Nighttime never 
mattered, except for the better
things around.

6889. HOW TO KILL SUBMISSION

HOW TO KILL SUBMISSION
My washcloth can be your facecloth  -  
and  how's that for crazy love?

6888. UNCLE GONE WAS UNCLE GONE

UNCLE GONE WAS 
UNCLE GONE
Uncle Gone was Uncle Gone, Aunt Maybe was
just that. I couldn't ever tell the difference, though
they had a really nice house. My mother used to pine:
'I hate to go back to my matchbox', she used to say after
every visit. Funny like that. We'd sit on the Rutherford 
porch  - I was only a kid  -  and the adults drinking beer
and me having soda, we tried to compare notes. I always
thought my stories were better; theirs were all about work. 
Rutherford, East Rutherford. I never knew the difference, 
and all I knew was that William Carlos Williams lived right
down the street. A famous poet, to my day and eyes, who 
masqueraded for them as a doctor of kids. How to figure that  -
a pediatrician or whatever they're called, delivering babies and
delivering words. His stories, I knew, were better than anyone 
else's could ever there be. Oh just to have a beer with He.

6887. NO, HAVE NOT

NO, HAVE NOT
Catch me a Jehovah walking down this street  - 
I really want to talk, and I need a Watchtower to 
remember you by. Men and women like that are
profound  -  they walk the street on Saturdays here
like businesspeople on parade, and say 'yes, my
business is God.' You can't beat that when you
have a full house, even if deuces go wild. Oh, baby,
I'll meet you at the top of Heaven's fair Kingdom.

6886. ONE TIME WAS ONE TIME TOO MANY

ONE TIME WAS ONE 
TIME TOO MANY
The officer had killed a kid  -  yeah, again, just
another street slob  -  (that's the sort of things
they say), and even Hillary came down from
her bombast post to comment. The most trouble
we had was in getting that puppetry stick out
of her ass, but she was smiling pretty well.
A blue-faced judge entered the starlit room
and bent down to make a pronouncement  -
all this, they' d said, was going to be on TV too
so we thought it had to be important, but he
just farted. The room was shambles, before
he even got started  -  restless natives and
poor people on the lam, runaway dads and
new moms who play for pennies in the
hot-sheet motels that ring the highways 
hereabouts. The lady waiter was running
around with tea cups, just like an Alice in her
Wonderland. Everyone here with cars  -  and 
most had two  -  had parked wherever they wanted
and could not have cared less. The metal-salvage
guy from up the street had sworm he'd be coming
with his magnet truck to take them all away; and
sure enough there he was. His name was Feifel, and
his face was green. What a nightmare this was turing
out to be  -  saddled me up on the old prairie? Thirty
junked cars were getting torn from their moorings,
already being taken away. Most people now were
just beginning their drunk  -  none noticed, few 
cared, and I left with Mary Lou Container, 
whose lovely face now was mine.

Monday, July 13, 2015

6885. RIGOROUS WITH ALL MY MORTIS

RIGOROUS WITH 
ALL MY MORTIS
(Perth Amboy, NJ - waterfront)
This newspaper keeps blowing around and 
it is wearing a fez  -  the funny Turkish hat 
that looks almost like a cone. Makes me wish 
to be a whirling dervish too. The bold lady cooking 
food comes over to ask me what I want; I nod to her 
'over there' and point : five gallons of some fermenting 
liquid holding hard-boiled eggs. 'Two pieces of toast 
with that, and a flower for my tonsils, if you please.'
She being a mother to someone, I just knew she'd like 
that last touch. Otherwise, yeah it made no sense.
-
The kid who works in the harbor is standing nearby; he's
watching boats again as the party-boat loads with people.
Some dastardly babe with a lung-type fish-pole for an
attitude strides on  -  everyone stands still and watches 
as the Captain comes by and helps her in. He wants to
scold her for being late  -  he's held the boat's departure 
for her now for five or six minutes while she parked.
But he only mentions it, as he already had done, to us :
'I've got these people, they want four hours, out and back.
I've got no time to waste on prima-donnas. But I'm stuck.'
-
Otherwise, what to do. Otherwise, who to see and how 
to salvage the wreck of a bad situation. Sea gulls are 
making a lot of noise overhead : 'I bet it's her damned 
perfume they're reacting to. She smells like a 
flower-pot cod in a tuna fish girdle.'

6884. TO CHIP THE FORCE THAT CHIPS THE FORCE

TO CHIP THE FORCE
THAT CHIPS THE FORCE
Every day. Every. All those same and
peculiar things: That guy in the gray 
pickup truck, always spitting out the
window; the woman with those two 
kids she's always walking with to the 
park. That pity guy  -  I always see  -
slowly walking a stumbling gait but 
always with the eyes downcast and 
scanning the curb and the gutter for 
whatever he can find :  he says loose 
change and money. I say a past
life and another chance.

6883. MY SIDEWINDER MISSLE IS UNDER THE STARS

MY SIDEWINDER MISSLE 
IS UNDER THE STARS
Here I am, under the nighttime sky, distressed as all get
out for everything that ever was  -  as if any of it had to
do with me, as if I was an integral part of anything at
all. I feel the way that old man feels, dropping his pretzel 
covered with mustard, while sitting on a bench and having
to figure out what to do now : pants all stained and bright
yellow with mustard. Enough to make one angry.
-
This is the way it was supposed to be. I was supposed to
have everything work out, for me, and in my favor. 
Leastways that what they'd told me, all those creeps in 
school who suckered my meager face into having faith. 
Nothing like that again. I watch the trees now, for birds 
above dropping their stuff down on me, for branches 
that fall and maim and kill. I eat my ice cream cone
fast, before it can begin to melt on me. My luck, 
my adverse and pestilenital luck, Goddamn.
-
There's an hour before dawn I love. And, kind of
another at dusk that lingers  -  a long, drawn out 
time  of early Summer's dwindling light. Yeah, 
I could live in that forever. 

6882. ALL THOSE PATCHWORK QUALITIES

ALL THOSE 
PATCHWORK 
QUALITIES
Determined to not forsake the warriors yet
planted along the edge of the woods  -  Aleck
and Jessamyn and Worobey, all  -  I needed to
decide a response  -  armaments again or just
plain love? Every shadow I see is peculiar
to something else  -  without equal and all
different. Here, then, it is 1954 again and I
am looking at a wall. Plastered and 
patchworked, things are falling off it. 
Even back then I felt it my 
duty to find sequence.
And now I have, yes,
but it's all a 
mystery
to me.