WHY I PISSED ON MY BALLOT
The New Republic tells me I should
be what they call 'Civically exhausted.'
It says I have a duty to vote and that
the republic's survival depends on it.
That's the first reason I pissed on mine.
-
I'm quite sick of this country. Quite
done with its bullshit antics. Up to
here with what they give and get : The
death of Joe Biden, the clubbing of
Donald Trump. I'd rather take Amy
Barrett to a rathskellar and try having
my way with here. That's another.
-
I detest the frivolous days of Now:
slob-children decorating their premises
with self-righteous howls of determined
direction; being told what to do, and
doing it. That would charm the pants
off a mule; I am sure. And get you a
date - most certainly - in any old
country-hick bar. That's yet another.
(I say, reinstitute the draft, yes! - and
drown them. The River Jordan is as
good as anywhere else).
-
Talk show hosts and rabid queens;
pansy-daisies and lumberjack women.
Donny Biden and Joey Trump... No,
I guess that wouldn't work. Those
are some more reasons.
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I. Pissed. On. My. Ballot. While others
took up arms with superstars; jerking
off DeNiro and jerking off Alex Baldwin.
Two more reasons, OK? Man-hung Amy
Sideris, and man-hung Fran Leibowitz
too. I'm lost in space; what more could I
do? I went ahead and pissed on my ballot.
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