Friday, August 12, 2016

8505. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW, #143

143. CHINTZ
I used to be in New York and
I used to laugh when I'd think
of my mother and some of the
things she used to say or do.
Being where I was then,
everything looked different,
so that some of her ways and
acts were just plain funny or
quirky. Like whenever something
seemed cheap to her, she'd say
it was 'chintzy.' I never knew,
at first, what that was. But there
is a fabric called 'Chintz' and I
guess that was the reference.
Something cheesy but made to
look expensive. Yes, there was
a lot of poverty in New York,
and I even saw cliche-types of
apartments with furniture in
clear plastic  -  long-running
joke  -  by the sorts of folk,
mostly Brooklyn, who'd get
something new, in this case
furniture, and intend to keep
it that way, even after use.
I never knew why, or what
they were thinking, but then
again I never asked. The
definition now of 'chintzy' is
'cheap, and low'. Originally it
was some sort of slightly
shiny Indian (south Asia)
fabric. I don't know where
my mother picked the word
up from, but what was funny
about it was that to urbanites
and New York City dwellers,
no matter what else, there
was nothing more cheesy
and cheap than the crummy
living that people did in
'New Joisey.' Now, for them,
THAT was chintzy. How
to figure all that, I really
didn't know. It just all
seemed a mixed-up world.
-
Down at 11th street it was
always noisy  -  big Spanish
culture back then, Puerto
Ricans and all. (That's all
gone now, and I can't say
when I last saw or heard
anything, I mean anything
at all, about Puerto Ricans,
Spics, whatever as a sub-culture.
Even their entire little
country-dependency or
whatever it is, having now
just gone broke and asking
the USA for billions of dollars,
caused not even the tiniest of
stirs. The old 1960 play and
then movie, West Side Story,
a kind of remake of Romeo
and Juliet with the Sharks
and the Jets as clashing
Puerto Rican street gangs
in conflict and some babe
loving the wrong side  -
the usual balderdash. The
entire home base of the real
1960's Puerto Rican culture,
and 1950's, was the area torn
down for Lincoln Center, by
1964. It was called 'San Juan
Hill', a referent-name to the
people who lived there, and it
was row after row of deep
tenements and people living
vertically, and in the street
with their vibrancy. Much
like the Lebanese, downtown,
electronics district  -  all
removed and torn down for
the World Trade Center a
little later, the neighborhoods
were razed, the people
displaced, and thousands
just sent out to their own
fates  -  mostly the newer,
rim-district project houses.
San Juan Hill became the
'Lincoln Center District','
by 1967, for sure, and all
the faked out Hoity-Toits
started moving in to their
new luxury high-rises, so
they could dress, dine, and
go to the opera in one fell
swoop without having to
trip over Spics. Let it be also
noted that gay creeps of the
Leonard Bernstein sort made
millions off the backs of these
people (they got zilch) by
fudging up his Heeb operatics
in West Side Story, and all,
to tell the made-up entertainment
fantasy tale, as it were. of what
in fact never happened anyway.
Typical. What was slavery, what
was exploitation, I ask, next
to that? I knew a girl back
then, from there  -  her family
displaced to some crummy
new bunker-style high-rise
in Queens or somewhere.
She had been old enough
to just walk away, and
re-settled herself in the
w80's of Manhattan. Her
name was (very cool name
I always loved to hear)
Juanita Elefante. She
never forgave the authorities
for what they had done  -
to her, her family, and her
people. Now THAT was
chintzy behavior, in my
book; on their part I
mean, not hers. Juanita, 
by the way, maybe ten 
years later, had landed 
a really good position at
Channel 13, later PBS,
in the Production/Graphics
Department. Their building
then was somewhere in 
the west 50's, or low 
west 60's. Maybe even 
still is. Lost touch.
-
Down by me, on 11th
street, all those Hispanics
were still about. Absolutely
no one displaced them,
nor sought to  -  let alone
absentee slumlords who 
never much cared anyway. 
This culture lived on the
street and was all about 
the street. Lithe young 
girls, budding and fetching 
already, went about in tight
clothing, and scantily. The
Summertime was theirs, 
and thankfully so. With 
all that, it was always 
funny to me to see how
the Spanish guys, no 
matter what, still leered 
and drooled over any
other white, or black, 
NY princess who walked 
by. It was as if their own
stable of playmates could 
not possibly have been 
enough. At this time, as 
noted, there was a huge 
influx of hippies along 
these streets, and hippie 
girls, I daresay, in the heats
of all those Summer days, 
were most often the very 
worst of the supposed 
(non-existent, of course)
dress code of the streets.
It was never only the tar 
that was bubbling up. What's
most funny now is how, 50 
years later, in another part of
the city totally, (uptown) both
the Puerto Rican Day Parade
and the Dominican Day Parade
are hotbeds of trouble  -  nudity, 
rape, assault, it all goes on.
Endemic to those cultures?
Perhaps; but most likely not.
They are just the most 
vociferous, and actively
demonstrative, of it. Just
like then.
-
In the middle of all this was
me; trying to survive and get 
by. If you remember, my first 
days in New York were spent 
with just these sorts  -  musical,
loud, Puerto Ricans playing 
all their live musics in Tompkins
Square Park in their inimitable,
exhibitionist, percussionist,
ways. All chintz.



8504. INOCULATE MY BINOCULARS

INOCULATE 
MY BINOCULARS
And Hezekiah, I cannot see! There
are too-harsh terms on this document
right here, and sometimes I am deaf
as well. My mixed-up, crazy world
has a jangling always inside my head.
Here comes the Janus-faced plowman,
he's setting this roadside table again,
All I ever order is buttermilk and toast.
-
There's a season to be serviced in the
wake-up to every day : some days it's
green, and others white-blind with snow.
I can't turn. I don't know which way to
go. If there's a heaven-help-us somewhere,
it better be for me.

8503. HARMONIA

HARMONIA
One day, in the fields of this world,
I heard the knocking in the dark, and 
awoke. Before my eyes were the grand 
clouds of possibility. It was a startling 
moment, realizing all I had missed before. 
Like a true revelation. I wanted to talk for 
hours, tell everyone what I'd learned of, bring
forth for the others this new realm now just
opened. The carpenter and the brickman, the
fisher and the digger, he who toils and she who
sings. The men on the roofs with their hammers.
Come to this world of miraculous things!

8502. WHAT'S FOR THE PATTER?

WHAT'S FOR 
THE PATTER?
The old lady was in her bed, with only
family now allowed in. It's a sad time
to have an ending. Again. Time has its
own erratic path  -  the wagon we're 
riding has to follow the path.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

8501. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW, #142

142. THE CONTRADICTION
OF ALL
Sitting in those churches, just
mentioned  -  sometimes just
for warmth, other times for
need, I would think about a
hundred things  -  remember,
I was still fairly fresh out of
a cloistered seminary-school
life, and then the miserable
turmoil of some months of the
regular, miserable high-school
crap to finish up that final year.
Everything still ached, and all
the ideas, and memories, were
still fresh and  -  I guess  -
oriented yet in that direction.
OK, so. I used to think about
Martin Luther a lot. Yes, that
guy  -  the 1500's German
church one, not Martin Luther
King  -  who, frankly, back
then, didn't much concern
me. Martin Luther was, for
me, one of the guys who
broke it all open. And that
'opening' immediately
presented all the enigmas
and paradoxes with which
'Modern' man has been
often struggling. (Another
nice thing, here  -  go listen
to the 'Enigma Variations',
by composer Edward Elgar;
see if you like that). Luther
hung up ('posted'), you may
recall, those 95 theses on the
Wittenberg Castle church
door one night. I used to
picture him, or even me,
doing something like that
here, on any one of these
strange New York Churches;
a list of protests, a list of
objections. The collective
yawn would be heard for
miles (that's kind of a writer's
challenge there, imaging the
'hearing' of a yawn. Pretty
daring!)  - the world is that
much different now. But,
back then, something like
that was a vital bulletin
board of the town center.
But eventually all of
that caused a real rupture
in things, and a vital
problem too; it gave
us the 'modern world'
in all its gimcrackery
and foolishness. The
problem, sort of, of the
'common man', who up
until then had basically
been pissed upon by those
above him, or her without
anyone much really caring  -
life was cheap, you followed,
you went along or you got
stampeded. The secular
end-result of all this
(actually) now is the useless
rabble-rousing crap we
foist off as Democracy
and personal liberty
and all that. Captive
nations of the world (are
you listening USA?) arise!
You have nothing to lose
but your chains! (How's that
for original?) Anyway, part
of what Martin Luther used
to say, and which I thought
about and studied over long
and hard, and in all these
raggedy church pews too,
was that each person had
the absolute right to approach
Scripture, God, Faith, and Belief
individually and on their own
terms. (That's why there were
so many of these churches, all
with different names and
denominations and connected
creeds). Before that, it all had
to come THROUGH others,
through the lines and edicts
of a false priesthood, a
churchyard dictatorship,
a controlled dripping-out,
and an enforced and
bought-for point of view,
promises, indulgences,
salvation, and all that.
No, Luther said, 'Hold on!
We want it our way, in our
own language, plainly
spoken, and we'll make
up our own minds, thank
you.' Not having to 'answer'
to religious authority,
'Justification by faith
alone', it came to be called.
That was landmark-status,
ground-breaking stuff, and
it frazzled people's brains.
They suddenly could read
their own Bibles, and that
was that; make up their own
minds, get on with their lives,
and that was that too. It was
about plain text, simple language,
the stuff one could understand  -
without all the smoke and
mirrors, funny hats and layers
of official trappings. When the
plain sense of a text is brought
forth, that's all one needs  -
what the text means is what
you say it means, not what
some philogian or historian
of an ancient society says
it means. Clarity. I understood
that clearly, especially  -  I found
-  in the face right then of all
that lying Vietnamese War
language, where everything
was obfuscated and no truth
was left, a real sensible scheme
of things. Truth be told. Plain
speaking. (In 1972, 'Plain Speaking'
was the title of a Merle Miller
biography of Harry Truman.  In
Luther's own day, one of his
students, to show the miraculous
clarity and 'plain speaking' of
Luther with his students, around
the dining tables, published
his own bio-book, entitled
'Table Talk', about Luther). I'd
think of how much must all the
war-smokescreen of 1967
language have been like, in
its way, even to Martin Luther's
day. The brutal paradox, and
what screwed everything up all
over again, back then, for his
church days, was that with
every person reading the
Bible for themselves and
living by the meaning they
found ('claritas scripturae' was
his term for scripture being clear
in in itself  -  and it played a
fundamental role here), then
any reader might say, with
Luther, 'I do not accept the
authority of popes and
councils, for they have
contradicted themselves
over and over, and made
their new words to fit their
new shapes. My conscience
is captive to the Word of God
as I see it. (sola scriptura).'
And then came the trouble,
the big flip (as I sat there, I
realized I knew what I was
thinking, smack in the middle
as I was of the grand societal
paradox of all time, reflected
there for me now in New York
Fantabulous City of God. What
was I, then, St. Augustine anew?).
The trouble: If everyone else then
can see things as they choose,
personal revelation and all of
that, Luther, and John Calvin
too, became immediately
impatient with those new
and unruly prophets who
sprang up around them, and
who claimed to find the Spirit
in all kinds of novelties in
scripture and producing all
sorts of disorder by their
preaching. The 'claims' of
clarity of scripture and
depended by much on
who was doing the looking.
The proverbial 'cat' was out
of the bag, and  -  suddenly  -
Luther, and Calvin and the rest,
realized what they'd unleashed.
They immediately had to impose
their own 'snap-backs', not much
different then from what before
had been coming from Rome :
all those endless denominations
and feuding sub-groups I just
mentioned. A conundrum, a
paradox, a new mess. Hello
Withcraft! Hello Salem! The
clarity of scripture was a bit
tricky, yes, with the 'context'
determining the 'application.'
Whew! What a mess, all that.
The 'common sense' of tradition
versus the untrammeled freedom
of the individual interpreter.
-
A lot of this thinking went
on for me at St. Francis
Xavier Church, on 16th street;
right nearby was the NY 
Foundling Hospital, a place
with a legacy that fascinated me;
a sort-of help mission of the
ages for NYC infants and
indigent babies, a leftover
adjunct of the old missions
and Sanitary Commission
days in old immigrant NYC.
St. Francis church took everyone
in, including me, and there was
a food kitchen. 590 6th Ave.
was the hospital, and the
church was just east of that. 
To get up to the church, which 
was always open and like a refuge,
huge dim lights, a quiet and dark 
holy space, you had to climb maybe
20 steps, and below you, on either
side would stretch the line for the 
soup kitchen, for whatever serving 
it would next be open. Men, quiet 
and sullen, would limply be in line, 
awaiting prayer and food (you had to 
partake a very short prayer service 
downstairs first. Sometimes it was sad 
and eerie too to see all those eyes 
looking up. Believe it or not, I still,
to this day, stop in there.
-
I don't think this chapter 
142 would end correctly 
without my including the 
following close : Around 
me everywhere were the 
people and the activities 
of the streets. At first I 
was stunned; day after
day of the sounds and 
aromas, odors and the lines
of all the passing panorama.
It was a broad and heady
brew, an entire mixed-up
new head, for a kid from
Avenel. I was hungry  - but
not for food. For the learning
and study and knowledge to
have this all make sense.
Canto III, Dante's Inferno  -
"Language diverse, horrible
dialects, accents of anger, words
of agony, and voices high and
hoarse, with sound of hands,
made up a tumult that goes
whirling on forever in that air
forever black, even as the sand
doth, when the whirlwind breathes...
I will tell thee very briefly. These 
people have not any hope of
death; and this blend of life of
theirs is so debased, they envious
are of other fate. No fame of them
the world permits to be; Misericord
and Justice both disdain them.
Let us not speak of them, but
look and pass."

8500. THE TARGET

THE TARGET
All the old things in the world
amount right now to nothing  -  
until I am here with you, until I
swarm your cloistered heart with 
my message of good and doing. 
On paper, at least, I am well; your 
Bible verses notwithstanding. I 
should, as it says in its sections, 
live happy and long, with my 
last years blessed, and with 
sufficient teeth and the 
finest of recollections.

8499. AND THE WIND WON'T LIFT AN ANVIL

AND THE WIND 
WON'T LIFT AN ANVIL
Safe to say. That one. How
the wind won't lift an anvil  -  
so we can pin things to it, 
and I do. The solid and the
bold; and secure, they will be
blown nowhere. Like my heart
in an hour, or my mind in an instant.
Nothing will go, and nothing from
here leaves. It's all the same change 
I propose. One hundred percent of
everything, right on the nose.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

8498. LETHARGY

LETHARGY
And this is that moment, the
one with the churchyard dawn.
I am sleepy and bored, but care
about neither. High up on that
hill again, I think I'll go back to
Reading, PA. Just to watch the
sunrise up there once more.


8497. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW, #141

141. A REAL LIFE
I used to shift around,
entering churches just
for the comfort and
quiet, and ending up
seeing the interior
architectures and
things. New York
City kept all the
vestiges of its old
past at the ready,
and each of the oh
so many and so
varied churches
still sort of resounded
with a surprising sense
of community. You
know how people say
'New York is a big
place, but it's really
just a collection of
little villages.' That
was always pure error
and just a sort of wan,
public boosterism, but
in some of the OLD
churches, the ones that
served and reflected their
immigrant, and wealthy
neighborhhoods of 150+
years ago, it really was
almost all still there:
tradition, awe, service,
wonderment, grandeur
and the rest. It's hard to
put a price on it now, but
the churches (it seemed)
that had fallen the farthest
were the ones that kept  -
still, in spite of that  -
the soup kitchens and
free lunches. It's still like
that today, although the
mix of the hungry people
is a way different, and
meaner too. Bad attitudes
abound. I don't know what
it is (they're usually younger,
for one thing, and  -  sorry to
say  -  blacker too), but over
forty or so years all the old
guys, the shuffling, broken
and bent, and quiet and
passive as well, have died.
That's an entire other world
now, long gone. It was the
one in 1967 on, that I dealt
with. These new kids and
runts of today would just
drive me batty; they just
want, and take. They're
coarse and they're mean,
with an unsettled, nasty
anger always bubbling.
My old barrel guys  -
a different breed entire.
World-weary and soft, with
a different wave-length, one
where the living past still
spoke. I'd walk along the
stretch of Bowery and there'd
be guys stretched out like
dead along sidewalk and
entryway of any of the
numerous buildings and
doorways. There were a
number of  -  besides the
missions  -  flophouses
and dime hotels. Just a
place to sleep; these guys
would get a little, caged,
sleep area, with water and
washrag and all, and for
a few pennies, almost,
they could sleep a real
sleep. There were problems
with theft : shoes, teeth,
hats, clothing, gloves being
taken, so the little cages
were meant to stop that.
In a bunkbed fashion they
were, but even over the
tops they were caged to
keep one from the other.
It was always a really
weird sort of 'indigent'
politics underway. 'When
you ain't got nothin', you
got nothin' to lose.' Yeah,
try and tell them that. It
seemed as if, back then,
these guys were humble
in their dearth and bad
fortune. Today's version,
by contrast, is loud and
haughty and almost proud
over it, demanding and
acting as if you owed
them something, they
have it coming. It's just
not right, and when I see
them now, it causes me
ill feeling  -  most
probably because I
know and I remember
the real past that they're
screwing up.
-
None of it matters now, 
but I write about it 
nonetheless. I have 
nothing else to do, 
and I treasure these 
memories as they 
bubble up. I guess 
as I began writing 
about the churches 
here, that all came 
up again. City churches 
were nothing like my 
Avenel churches and 
seminary stuff. Where 
I had grown up it was 
important for things to 
be new and seen as
progressing  -  some 
sort of constant uplift 
on an imagined arc of life. 
In my new location, in 
New York City, nothing like
that mattered. There almost 
wasn't even a sense of 'new'.
Most things were over already
and just hanging on, bare, a 
thread. These tired old churches
were support and sustencance.
Everything was a hundred years 
old, intact and still serving its
purposes. Hell, half the time
electricity and lighting were 
still new and important 
concepts. Plastic was almost
unheard of, as all the wood
and brick of the past was
still up, chipped and old it 
may have been, but the
reverence and purpose of it
all was yet there. In a golden
fashion never seen before,
never by me anyway. I was
all still Avenel-dazzled by
my new surroundings, and
in love with each minute.
The quarrels and the conflicts
I sometimes witnessed, I 
didn't always understand  -  
although I had to admit for
sure, once I saw it all, 
that my own father had 
given me a good start to
the understanding of the
irrationality of blood-fued
and the uncontained, illogical
anger that fueled it. On these
streets, in all those fiery little
neighborhoods and tenements,
all of that still raged. It was
scary, but it was clear too.
Later, I know and read guys
like Jim Carroll and suddenly
know exactly what was 
happening, the air and 
the blood they ran
with and breathed.

8496. MY MADE-UP STORY

MY MADE-UP STORY
I've got John Frasee on the brain.
He was the world's wickedest baseball
card collector, who could tell whose
card it was just by the heft and the feel.
(He was blind). He'd handle the card,
and then give the answer  -  claiming he
got the answer because the card felt to
him like the weight of the bat the guy 
used, and the speed of his pitch. Then
he'd pick up his glass of soda and, by
sticking his tongue in the liquid, he'd
claim to get (always right too) the
guy's last season batting average, or,
for pitchers, his E.R.A. (earned run
average). Then if you wished, by 
giving him a coin from your pocket,
he claimed he could tell you the guy's 
on-base percentage by rubbing the coin
onto the card and listening to the sound 
it made. But first you'd have to turn off
everything else in your house (he'd be
visiting)  -  no noise, no vibration, no
phones or possible interruptions. Then
he'd ask to use the bathroom, but secretly
already knew where any money in your
house would be. He'd leave the room,
claiming to need the bathroom, steal all
you had, and leave through the back door
with any and all valuables. Once you
realized this, he'd be gone, and you'd 
attempt, quickly at that point, to get up
from your chair but find yourself roped
in place and tied by invisible shackles 
and rope. Then, with your key (which 
 you'd later realize was no longer in your
pocket), he'd have started the best of 
your cars, and madly driven off. You'd
be stumped, and your home-team would
lose the next four-games straight. It
never failed to work out that way.
And he was never blind after
all. Man, that John Frasee 
was something to see!