641. TO MY MOTHER'S KIND AVERSION

TO MY MOTHER'S
KIND AVERSION
To my mother's faint health I added
nothing. In fact, probably shaved a few hours
off her life. It wasn't by design that I sometimes
was such a bastard. One day, as I recall, she just
fell over dead. 'Her head exploded', some doctor
said. He was talking simple, for a dolt like me.
Medically speaking, you see. She'd had a brain
aneurysm or something - blood vessels burst,
flooding her brain and moving it off the stem...
whatever all that was she was as good as DEAD
right then. From the moment she hit the ground
there was no sense to even move around.
Now that shit, I clearly understood.
-
Had I the wings of an angel (I suppose)
I'd try to fly somewhere new, finding
her maybe, just to see what - if anything -
I could do. Now, that is. Well after the fact,
and useless too. As an effort, I guess, to
try and make good, to make an amend -
if I could - and mend it for two.